The topic of manipulation and its particular case - abuse - has been discussed a lot lately: there are both articles and videos. It would seem, what else can be said if the topic has already been studied far and wide? And yet, I will try to add something. All people manipulate, some unconsciously, some consciously. But not all manipulations are harmful and dangerous. Some of them are very good. In fact, manipulation is any influence whose purpose is to change a person’s condition. But you can change the state in different directions. Some experienced teachers, good doctors, coaches, parents, motivational speakers know how to “charge” a person so much that after communicating with them he is ready to move mountains, believes in himself, believes in his idea and achieves good things. results. So I can confidently classify such “manipulators” into the first category: good! The second category of manipulators: by profession. These are various media that form the so-called “public opinion”, engage in propaganda and other “bad things”, and distort information. Of course, they get paid for it, that's why they do it all. But is that the only reason? Perhaps there are two ways to resist this kind of manipulator: 1) limit the flow of incoming information, watch less TV, read the news; 2) in no case listen to only one source of information, you need to be able to form your own opinion from various, sometimes diametrically opposed views, look for grains of truth in the endless sea of ​​​​ideas and opinions. So, let’s leave the media of mass disinformation their piece of bread and move on to those , from whom we suffer most often: close people, friends, family. Why do people suffer the most from this category? Because we are least likely to defend ourselves against them. Therefore, they can inflict very deep wounds with their words and actions. These people, in turn, are divided into 2 categories: educational manipulators and the so-called “psycho-predators.” Let’s figure out who the educational manipulators are. These are people who can prick, say some unpleasant thing, devalue, lie, understate, etc. not because they really want to humiliate you, offend you, upset you, but because they themselves were raised so clumsily , or they have absorbed patterns of behavior that are not of the best quality, and therefore use them left and right. But at the same time, these people retain common sense, reason and, most importantly, they are able to understand that by their actions or words they are causing you pain, suffering, inspire fear, doubt or some other unpleasant feelings. Therefore, if you give them good feedback, ask them not to do this again, and most importantly, tell them how it would be better to treat you, they will hear, understand, digest, perhaps even apologize and won’t do it again. That is, they are able to analyze their behavior, understand its ineffectiveness and change. But with psychopredators, everything is much more complicated: they are not able to feel your pain as their own. Moreover, by causing anger, jealousy, fear, resentment, anxiety, or sadness in the victim with their actions or words, they can receive sincere and genuine pleasure from this. Therefore, they are not going to change their behavior and will not. Giving them feedback is almost pointless: they think they are right. Therefore, having discovered such a psycho-predator next to you, the most effective thing is to run: 1) immediately, 2) quickly. Still, let's discuss several protective techniques against manipulation. After all, whoever is forewarned is forearmed.1. Analysis of your opponent’s words and your feelings. Manipulators tend to distort facts and reality. For example, their favorite technique is generalization: “You always do this!” At the same time, the phrase sounds accusatory, and you really begin to feel guilty about it. But it’s worth analyzing whether your opponent is actually right? DO you ALWAYS do this? Even if you do it sometimes, what’s wrong with that?!