Controllers-rescuers“Rescuing cannot be trusted.” Read it carefully and put a comma. "… Why did not you call? You have to come home from school at two!! Did you write down your homework?” “... why explain it a hundred times? They will still make mistakes. Nobody can do it better than me!” “... I need to remind my husband, he’ll forget, as always!...” And why does a child need to remember about homework and other things? He has a controlling mother! She definitely remembers! Why do subordinates need to learn to do their work well? They have a supervisor! Well, he’ll shout and finish everything himself! Why should a husband/wife remember about household chores and generally take the initiative? He has a wife/husband - a controller, who remembers everything and knows better! Why does the controller need all this? The controller feels calm when he knows everything about everyone and is in control of the situation. Everything is predictable! The way it should be! The controller does everything with good intentions, brings goodness and is in an approved position. And what does the controller sacrifice in this case? His time, effort, resource. After all, in order to control and take care of everyone in your life, you need to spend a lot of strength and energy. With your desires. The controller's focus is shifted to other people. He thinks about his needs and wants last. If he thinks at all... Relationships. Controllers usually do not ask loved ones whether they want this control and rescue. Controllers often subconsciously expect recognition and gratitude, and... do not receive it. In addition, controllers disable their loved ones: children forget everything and study poorly, their spouse stops showing activity and initiative, colleagues sit on their necks. Creates and maintains codependent relationships. Often this role - “Rescuer Controller” - leads to serious emotional exhaustion and psychosomatic disorders. Understanding the reasons for the formation of this role/strategy, shifting the focus to yourself and your needs, harmonizing relationships - this is the task of joint work between a rescue controller and a psychologist.