From the author: Values ​​reflect the needs of our bright part, our soul. “Non-violence”, “life without lies”, marriage without betrayal”, “responsibility to children”, “caring for what is weaker than you” - this is a choice that can be made once. And the ship of life will carry you - focusing on these beacons! If at least once you stop to think about revenge, your guidelines are lost. And you find yourself in a space where they live according to the laws of “tit for tat” and the wheel of mutual revenge can no longer be stopped... It is important to be careful about your values. and carefully. The destruction of values ​​leads to the destruction of meanings. When life looks like something meaningless and useless - this is precisely about the fact that values ​​and meanings were once destroyed. Betrayal hits a person’s values ​​very hard. Sometimes even obvious betrayal It is easier to bear than hidden disguised meanness. The husband cheats on his wife and convinces her that it is normal, that men are polygamous and other dregs... Backbiting, humiliation in the family, violence - everything destroys a person’s values. When one of the family members oppresses a child, and... the other cannot protect him; this situation generally affects the child’s values. I often see this in my practice. This is the real betrayal. The child’s value field is then like a scorched field. I took this metaphor from one seminar about betrayal. There I heard the phrase that alcoholism is also a betrayal. I have never looked at it from this point of view. I thought alcoholism was a disease... But, probably, both formulations are correct. It depends on which side you approach the problem from... Many former children of alcoholics come to me for consultation. How difficult life is for them. There are so many difficulties along the way. But who betrays the child more here? A father who is sick or a mother who is completely absorbed in her husband's problem? Family is the place for a child where he receives knowledge about life, where he learns to build relationships, where he learns EVERYTHING!! What will a child learn in a family where everyone is busy with unknown things? Where is the negativity, like an ax hanging in the air! Where it is impossible to predict what will happen in the next moment... About values. Values ​​are our guidelines for life. If your priorities include such values ​​as family, intimacy and love, you will strive to come home early from work, do something nice for your loved ones, not once again offend those around you, show care even when you have little strength left... If you are sick - you'll go get treatment. If you can’t cope, honestly admit it, and you won’t take your anger out on your loved ones. Does your child need help with homework? If you stop cleaning up, you’ll sit down and help...Values ​​reflect the needs of our bright part, our soul. “Non-violence”, “life without lies”, marriage without betrayal”, “responsibility to children”, “caring for what is weaker than you” - this is a choice that can be made once. And the ship of life will carry you - focusing on these beacons! If at least once you stop to think about revenge, the guidelines are lost. And you find yourself in a space where they live according to the laws of “tit for tat.” And the wheel of mutual revenge can no longer be stopped... Values ​​are our meanings. By investing in what is important to you, you are filled with meaning, a feeling of inner fulfillment and satisfaction from what you do. And then you want to move forward, act, create and create. The loss of meaning leads to an unwillingness to live... and, most often, to... the desire to find this meaning in the life of another person, to manage his life and create his life in his space. This is how they devote their lives to their children, husbands, friends... “you are my meaning of life!”... I wonder if they want to be your meaning? Will you like yours? You can destroy values ​​through depreciation and cynicism. When nothing grows in your field, you are simply disgusted when others have something growing there. We must trample... Devaluation and cynicism are like viruses. They penetrate your brain and your soul and kill the “living cells” there. As soon as I have.