WHEN YOU GET OUT OF A PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP, YOU know how to speak openly.—Don’t leave me, stay with me.—I’m not leaving you, I’m finding myself. And you can choose yourself. - I can’t do it without you. I need you. - You can handle it. You really need, first of all, yourself. - Everything will change. I will change for you. Everything will be the same as before.—As before led to what is now. Be yourself. For your own sake. -I will fight for you. We must fight for our love. We'll get through this together. We will overcome everything. - You are hurt and lonely now. You are. You are a value in yourself. Fight for yourself. You can handle it. And I need to return to myself, to my life. I know it won't be easy because it hurts me too. I believe I can handle it. Such words hurt. They reach the most vulnerable and needy part. They break the fusion and give a feeling of separateness. No we, there is me and you. It hurts. It hurts when you don't notice your “I” and save relationships by expecting love and acceptance. Expecting that someone will also not notice themselves for the sake of the relationship and you in it. It hurts when the one you need does not want and cannot sacrifice himself. The pain goes away when you realize that you, like the other person, are separate. Valuable. On my own. With your experience and your picture of the world. Yes. It's different from yours. And this fact can open up previous wounds when a significant adult was unable to recognize your separateness and see a picture of you that is different from his own. And merged with you. The pain goes away when you see your expectations, free yourself from them and meet yourself and others without illusion. You know how to speak openly, first of all, to yourself. For example: “I control you because I am afraid of betrayal. I was deceived. I want to trust you, but I don't know how. I don’t know how to trust my choice, and therefore myself. I want to learn trust and intimacy. I can do it, I can handle it” If you decide to turn towards yourself, there is a chance that another will be able to see you as separate, and not through the prism of yourself. And perhaps you will meet each other halfway. If you have once realized love, you will not want to live in dependence. If you have learned to be friends, you will no longer consume or be a donor. If the article resonates, I will be glad to receive your feedback