From the author: A client came to me with a complaint that everything in her life was breaking down and losing its meaning. No energy for change. I want to lie on the couch, watch TV shows and sleep instead of doing interesting projects and useful things... A client came to me with a complaint that everything in her life was breaking down and losing its meaning. No energy for change. I want to lie on the couch, watch TV shows and sleep instead of doing interesting projects, useful things... While talking with her, I involuntarily remembered myself when I graduated from college. This was one of my first serious encounters with freedom. My client complained that she was destroying relationships with family and friends, was unknowingly seeking expulsion from the university, and that all attempts to correct the situation were dragging her deeper into the crisis. We called this stage “psychological bottom.” What is the reason for this condition? To figure it out, we will have to go back to childhood and remember what motivated us then. On the one hand, it was a keen interest in the world, on the other hand, adults who said how and what to do. - You need to eat porridge.. (at 3 years old) Why? - because porridge is healthy. - You need to go to school and study well.. (at the age of 10) Why? - because otherwise you will become a janitor “useless to anyone.” - You must definitely go to college, get married.. (at the age of 17) Why? - because if you don’t do this, you won’t become a person! The list can be continued endlessly. Society always found something for us to do. As children, we understood very well what freedom was against the backdrop of the restrictions that were created for us. But, as we grew older, our “shoulds” began to be digested and turned into want or don’t want. The first serious “I want”, as a rule, arose with the need to make a decision about a future profession. To do this, it was necessary to take stock, turn to one’s dreams and talents, and evaluate past achievements. It is important to understand that growing up is always accompanied by the loss of the “external necessary” and separation from parental figures. This process can be described as the loss of external incentive to action. There is no more school, teachers, employer, etc. Initially, such freedom begins to intoxicate, it seems long-awaited and sweet, but over time it begins to taste bitter, since we still do not know how to control ourselves. If you don’t need anything else (there is no parent), what should you do and how to live? At the moment of freedom (loss of external stimuli), we, at best, stop acting. At worst, the movements become chaotic, sometimes even self-harming (adolescent behavior). This line of behavior inevitably leads to a dead end. The apparent freedom turns out to be an illusion because it comes down to reacting to what the world offers us, rather than consciously and responsibly choosing a path. This is similar to the loss of will, because will manifests itself in freedom of choice, which does not yet exist at the moment of crisis. I would like to note that a crisis of freedom can arise at any age. Almost any loss of external stimuli (graduation from university, leaving work, ending a relationship, separation from parents) can potentially lead to such an effect. The crisis of freedom returns us to a childish position and forces us to relive growing up. Much has been written about this in books on existential therapy. To help a person get out of such a crisis, it is necessary, first of all, to show him that he is already at the bottom. Metaphorically, it is like throwing a life preserver to someone who is drowning. Awareness of the bottom is important in itself. “I don’t live at all the way I want!” - this idea can make you fight, it awakens anger and self-loathing. The experience of “bottom” forces us to change the world, completely different from the one we dreamed of. Instead of “should,” a new, conscious “I want” begins to appear. This is the moment when we begin to overcome the crisis. The bottom is an important fulcrum on which you need to lean in order to push off. Material published from.