As we grow up, we all go through stages of the development of love (according to A. Lowen). Some people’s love contains a strong childish element (I want to be paid for food), while for others it has a significant share of romance. When you expect love, what do you expect? 1. “I need you to feed” i.e. (I like it when they pay for me in a restaurant, buy food, cook for me, this is an indicator of care and willingness to take care of me); 2. “I need your care” (they care about me: how I’m dressed, whether I have everything, whether they offend me); 3. “I need your approval” (confirm that I am worthy, I am doing the right thing, everything works out for me, my confidence grows with this person);4. “I want you to react to me sexually” (I cause sexual arousal and I like it);5. “I want to share life with you” (I want to share the impressions of life with you, I want you to be interested in me, and I in you). Try to determine from which “layer” of love for your spouse or partner this recognition comes. What do you strive to satisfy (to a greater extent) in a love relationship? These are the LAYERS: 1) Infant love - needs warmth, feeding, protection, care. In return, a CONNECTION is formed at the cost of losing one’s own individuality. 2) The love of a child needs care, protection, admiration. In return, the child shares joy and play. 3) The love of a boy (or girl) - needs care, admiration, leadership. In return, older children share adventures and donate deep affection. 4) Teenager love - needs leadership and freedom. In return, exciting and emotional romance and sex appear. 5) Mature love - needs a partner in order to share life with him. In return, it gives respect, feelings and care. As we go through such stages in life, we come to mature love. When stuck in a painful situation and experiences, development is limited (these are not closed GESTALTS). The strength of these past experiences slows down development. As a result, the desire for love carries with it unsatisfied needs from past stages of life. Expectations from a partner make it possible to assess the degree of maturity of the individual and understand at what age stage of life “inhibition” occurred. And how can you overcome problems in relationships by developing yourself. If you want to understand yourself, overcome difficulties and develop your abilities for new facets of relationships, I invite you to my consultations, where slowly and thoroughly, step by step, you can come to changes in close relationships . Sign up for a consultation by phone: 8-922-267-90-10 (Viber Whatsapp Telegram) Evgenia Kozyreva - Master of Psychology, Gestalt practitioner, consulting psychologist, member of the RPA.