From the author: Who do we see? Daily...or once a week. Who is our child?...I wonder how often we try to find answers to questions about what my child is like? What is “right” with him and what is “wrong” and how rarely we really want to pay attention to ourselves. On their perception of the child. From appointment to appointment, parents, sometimes friendly, sometimes persistently, demand a “pill”, “something” to “help” in solving their problems with their children. But you, my dears, think for yourself - if everything in this world could be solved with pills... It’s the same as asking for a pill if you have problems communicating with your boss at work. The question “Why?”, “Why” is logical, isn’t it?.. Unfortunately, doctors have not yet come up with a cure for all ills. However, you and I can easily and simply detect it... in ourselves... in our heads... yes, yes. Our most important medicine is how we perceive ourselves and those around us. Since the article (judging by its title) is fundamentally about children, let’s try to look at our child right now, without leaving it for “later.” If he (she) is now at school (in kindergarten, at training, or has been married for a long time), pick up his (her) photo. Look at this person as if you haven't met him yet. What kind of person do you see in front of you? Try to describe it with several epithets (5-7 pieces). Don’t be lazy and write down what you got on a piece of paper. For example: This person in the photo: 1) Strong2) Decisive3) Courageous4) Maybe a romantic at heart5) Cunning6) With a kind heartAre you ready? If you haven’t done this exercise, go back a little and do it anyway. Please note - you are describing your child as if you were seeing him for the first time. Forget about what qualities you know in him (it’s probably easier for those who have a very small child). You are now describing a completely alien child (just think THIS way). Was it successful? Now let's look at the photo again (or let's turn to our perception). Try to write 5-7 qualities of your child, the one you think you know very well. Write down those qualities that are visible not from the photo, but from your everyday life. Write how you see your child. Feel free to write in a column, roughly speaking, the answer to the question - what is your child like? Example: 1) Capricious2) Selfish3) A little spoiled4) Requiring a lot of attention5) Kind6) QuirkyFollow this exercise, and we will continue. Are you ready? Now pay attention to what happened? Do you feel the difference? I will show you using the above examples, depicting them closer: Strong ----------------------------------- Capricious Decisive -- --------------------------SelfishMasculine----------------------- ---a little spoiled Maybe a romantic at heart -----Demanding a lot of attention Cunning -------------------------------- ----Crazy With a kind heart -----Kind Don't you think that they turned out to be two completely different children? And this happens quite often. If you and I ask a complete stranger to describe your child to you, it turns out that we already have a third child according to the description. So what is this – a split personality of a son (daughter)? Or a distortion of our perception of our own child? How we look at our own child depends mainly on us. What do we see in him - selfishness, spoiledness or determination, masculinity, independence. And the manner in which we communicate with him will depend only on our perception of the child. In other words, assessing our child as some kind of “scoundrel” who “only demands” and “is not capable of anything,” we will behave with him exactly as with a complete “scoundrel,” reinforcing the basic aspects of this concept in his behavior. Indeed, a child will eventually become “selfish”, “Spoiled” and “insignificant”, but, excuse me, who saw him like that?... Our false concept of perceiving ourselves and!