Constantly facing problems in the family due to the use of alcohol and other psychoactive substances, relatives of addicted people experience a whole range of negative feelings, including irritation, excitement, anxiety, anger, anger and others. Continuation of the topic. Start here - “Low self-esteem. Characteristics of a codependent personality." In order to somehow cope with the manifestations of these feelings and bring order to their lives, they decide to control everything. A compulsive desire to control the lives of their loved ones is a distinctive feature of codependent wives, mothers, sisters. The belief that with their control they are able to lead putting their family's life in order is deeply rooted in their consciousness. Codependent relatives sometimes make great efforts to control everyone and everything. And the more complex the situation in the family, the tighter the control. In their experienced opinion, only they know how everything should be, how other family members should behave and what to do. They need control in order to maintain the illusion of a prosperous family in the eyes of others. As I already wrote in the article about the low self-esteem of codependents, shame forces codependents to put on masks not only on themselves, but also on other family members, not allowing them to be themselves, showing their true essence. For example, a wife can carefully monitor her husband’s clothes so that he always looks neat in public. She can cover up bruises sustained in a drunken fight with foundation. Everyone is familiar with the trick when codependents call at work and warn that their loved one will not come to work because he is sick, although in fact he is drunk or suffering from a hangover. Codependents think that through control they manage to give the impression of a prosperous family. But it’s one thing to pretend to be a prosperous, functional family and quite another thing. With their controlling behavior, codependents sincerely believe that they are helping their dependent relatives. They smell them, search their pockets, look into their eyes to see how their pupils react, check how they spend money, confiscate bottles of alcohol and pour them into the sink. Controlling use is associated with the fear that a loved one will use again, as well as with the fact that the rescuer role that the codependent plays in these situations brings dividends in the form of approved behavior in society. The next article continues the topic of controlling behavior of a codependent person. Read other articles the author can be found here 🌹With respect and care for you, Marina Kudrina Sign up for a consultation here