Famous relationship consultant Geri Chapman has identified 5 love languages ​​in which people express their feelings to the people they love. Most often, a person has one dominant language and uses others less. The language of love is formed in childhood under the influence of family and personal characteristics of a person. Languages ​​of love (as opposed to languages ​​of dislike - hatred) 1) Quality time - ignoring. The time that we spend together with our partner, giving him all our attention, is called quality time. This could be walks, travel, communication - any way to spend time with your loved one, giving full attention, interest and support. Watching a movie together while your thoughts are somewhere far away from your partner is not quality time. Going to a restaurant together and periodically sitting on the phone is also not quality time. There is a huge difference between being close (physically) and being together (emotionally). 2) Kind words - criticism, rudeness. How nice it is to hear a kind word from a loved one! Be it praise, a compliment or sincere support, empathy. No wonder they say: “Kind words are more valuable than wealth.” It can be very painful for a person who is accustomed to expressing love through words to hear criticism. Even if the words are not offensive, people tend to feel rejected. And it also happens that it is not typical for a person to express his feelings in words. Such people value actions more than eloquence. 3) Gifts - their absence (even small signs of attention). People who express love in the language of material gifts are accustomed to giving. What matters is not so much the cost of the gift as the sign of attention and care for your loved one. These can be all sorts of pleasant little things made with your own hands, or it can be a serious gift that shows the importance of the relationship with your partner. The absence of gifts from a loved one is perceived as a lack of love. 4) Touching - repulsion. People who express love through touch attach importance to physical contact. They enjoy holding, stroking, hugging and kissing their partner's hand the most. The absence of affection from the partner or pushing away is very painful for them. 5) Help - refusal to help. Harmonious relationships are always cooperation. There are people for whom help and responsiveness are the main indicator of feelings. With their help around the house, response to requests and support, they express their love to their partner and want the same attitude from him. It is important to understand what help means to such a person and not to be annoyed by his requests. Conflicts in a couple arise when people express love in different languages. For a relationship to become harmonious, you need to recognize your love language and the language of your partner. If they don’t agree, you need to learn to speak your partner’s language, and teach him yours. You can recognize the language using the following questions: - Think about how you usually express your love? What do you say, what do you do? - What upsets you most, irritates you in your partner’s actions and words? - What would you like from your partner? What words or actions? - What criticism is heard most often in your relationship? What do you react to and what hurts you? You can read more about love languages ​​in G. Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages.” And if you want to work with a psychologist on the harmony of your romantic relationships, I invite you to a consultation.© Publication of the article is permitted if you provide a direct active link to the source or #psyshvetsova