I'm not a robot

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This question comes up quite often in my sessions at the moment. I will share my opinion as a psychologist.1. It is important to recognize that any opinion has the right to be. Even if it doesn't resonate with you. You are different and that's OK.2. If you don't like it, look inside yourself for the emotions and feelings you feel. Anger, anger, resentment, rage. Ask yourself the question: “What is this feeling about for me?” “What is my benefit in continuing to experience them?”3. If you don't like the tone of your dialogue, you have the right to stop it. “I’m not ready to continue the conversation in a raised voice, we’ll talk later.” Take 5-10 minutes of silence during this time to cool down. Dzigar Kongtrul suggests a non-violent method of “quenching”. “Instead of stewing in our own aggression, like a piece of meat in soup,” we “stew.” That is, when we are overcome by a desire to speak or act in a familiar way, we allow ourselves to wait and wait patiently, to feel this desire in all its strength, without turning away from him, but not indulging him. “Stewing” is a way to gain inner strength and self-confidence: the belief that when faced with the restlessness, fragility, fundamental uncertainty of life, we are able to work with our minds without causing harm to ourselves and others (Pema Chödrön).4. Remember that each person perceives everything through his own prism of the world. Remember the sensational story on the Internet, where everyone was discussing the color of the dress: blue-black or white-gold? And everyone perceives what he sees from his knowledge, experience and the world around him. “I can be wrong, just like the other.” Don't look for the truth, it is always in the middle.5. “I hear, I understand, I see you.” Sometimes the opponent in the dialogue may feel scared, lonely and incomprehensible. Ask him: “What do you want from me in this conversation.” What if he just needs to know that his thoughts have the right to be. When stressed, people can say whatever they want. Sometimes simple questions bring a person back to reality.6. Ask yourself, “Why am I still engaging in this destructive conversation?” Who am I in it? Let us remember the Karpman triangle (victim, rescuer, aggressor (persecutor)). And we remember that we always have the right to leave the triangle and then the dialogue will have no force.7. Speak to your opponent in the form of an “I-statement.” The technology is freely available. And remember that you can always stop being a victim or an aggressor. It is your right to remove these roles from yourself and assign positive roles to yourself.!