When a couple comes to a reception with difficulties, I (God forbid!) do not find out which of them is right and wrong. I am not criticizing one or both participants. I don’t explain how to live in a family correctly. And I don’t dig into the participants’ relationships with their moms and dads. During a couple’s consultation, I act as a kind of regulator, a mediator of the conversation between them. The pair members discuss problem areas and situations, and I help them negotiate. How exactly? Usually the couple at the reception no longer has the resource to solve problems. They are irritated and offended. The conversation itself does not work out. One often asks the other to do something. The other stubbornly does not do this. He thinks: “And so everything is fine.” Working with couples is very different from individual work! To resolve a controversial situation, you need to feel that everything is OK with both partners, with the position of each of them! There is no need to address childhood trauma - it can be a long and unnecessary process for the couple as a whole. We need to find a way for their two different positions to coexist with each other. I give the couple and both of their participants support. I point out to them their current ways of communicating. I suggest trying new design options. I help to rebuild the dissatisfaction communicated to the other into a digestible form that does not hurt the other. In general, I teach how to express “difficult” feelings (dissatisfaction, anger, irritation) in a safe, digestible way that does not hurt the other. If the dialogue in a couple is hindered by an old grievance, as a regulator I help to listen to both sides and come to a compromise. For example, I worked with a couple at war. One partner wanted the other to spend more time only with him. He felt uncomfortable with his significant other’s friends and was jealous. I wanted my partner to need no one except him! The second wanted to spend quiet time with friends. I was able to initiate a respectful dialogue that was sensitive to everyone's pain. As a result of the work, each partner heard the other and left thoughtfully - how to build a life together differently now. This is how couples therapy works. Often 1-3 meetings are enough for her. Through understanding, support, respect and a constructive way to communicate a problem, the “don't do” partner relaxes, gains greater ability to “see” the other half's side and compromise. Overall, after several sessions, the couple gains more calm in communication. Less anxiety for each partner. The “overload of responsibilities” of one of the partners goes away, the balance of taking/giving is leveled. Partners resolve difficult issues on their own more calmly and loyally. There is great variability in compromises and concessions. All this lays a good foundation for a long, flexible life for a couple. You can sign up for couples therapy via WhatsApp +7 (913) 830-63-89. Discount using code word B17 10%.