From the author: An essay about irrational human beliefs, published in the mailing list of my website and on the pages of LiveJournal. I continue my thoughts on the topic of irrational beliefs, thoughts and ideas that ruin our lives .Today I continue to dissect the irrational idea “Everyone should love and support me.” When a person lives in unconscious accordance with this idea, when it controls him, very specific consequences appear in his life. I wrote about two of them last time. These are grievances and shame (and the anxiety that arises as a result of shame). I continued to think about what else this idea brings to a person’s life. I began, as usual, first with myself, remembering my acquaintances, friends, colleagues, people who came to see me. And a continuation of the theme was born. Sometimes this idea - “Everyone should love and support me” - is falsely attributed to manifestations of self-love. Like, a person loves himself, so he takes such a position. In many, many trainings, schools of success, etc., people are first of all “taught” how to love themselves. In my opinion, self-love is present in any person from the very beginning. Let's take the same tired example from Carnegie: Who do you look for first in a group photo? From a young age, a child feels his parents’ attention, self-care, and attention. Parents often support this opinion in him that he is the best/smartest/handsome, etc. Then, growing up, a person is faced with the truth of life that he, of course, is not the best in this world. And these two understandings live in a person simultaneously. Feeling like the most important/best/important person for yourself and realizing that I am not the best in the world. These two understandings are in a certain balance and harmony. They give a person the opportunity to adequately perceive the world. But sometimes the balance is disturbed and distortions arise. One is when we go towards painful doubts: Is it worth loving me? After all, it seems that I am not the best. Well, the other one is expressed in particular in this irrational idea: “Everyone should love and support me.” At the same time, a person can verbally exclaim that he, they say, hates himself! That he is terrible, terrible, that he has no place on this earth!! But this is only in words. By saying all this, he unconsciously pursues one single goal. So that those around him begin to dissuade him from this, telling him all sorts of nice words, and supporting him. At the same time, the person becomes almost completely fixated on himself. On your inner world. Based on your emotions and experiences. He simply does not see everything that surrounds him. That is, you can expand and continue this idea; in your head it sounds something like this: “Everyone should love and support me. But I don’t have to love anyone.” This is a very important addition. Rarely does anyone realize it, but this is precisely what determines all subsequent human behavior. First of all, it is an unconscious feeling of one’s total rightness. Just by default. No matter what happens. We can remember those everyday situations when, for example, we cannot find some thing we need right now. And you start asking those around you: “Where are you going..?”, “Where should I look...?”, “Why did you take my...?” We torture those around us, and then it turns out that we ourselves put this thing in some inconspicuous place. Sound familiar? How do you feel? This also includes the feeling that all your thoughts and ideas are correct. The correct thoughts are only my own. Of course, we don’t realize this in ourselves. and we show the public how tolerant we are and respect all points of view. But, for some reason, in the same debates and discussions, someone else’s point of view, different from ours, is sometimes simply unbearable for us. We often start our arguments: “No, listen!” No - this is generally the worst word in order to establish contact, “What nonsense? Actually it’s like that...”. Well, everything like that. After all, the irrational idea sounds: “Everyone should love and support me.” And that means