Many people turn to therapists when they are faced with the difficulty of not thinking about themselves in relationships, of putting themselves last. Typical words of such people: “My task is to do everything to make my partner happy with me, otherwise he will leave”; “If I don’t fulfill her wishes, I may hurt her/him”; “I don't want to do this, but I can't say no.” Meeting your partner's needs and respecting their opinions is important, but so is recognizing, respecting, and asserting your own needs in the relationship. There are several strategies for being assertive and caring. about your space without infringing on your partner’s feelings, that is, become more assertive in relationships. In this article we will talk about self-perception. So, think about how you feel, how you perceive yourself. Your own opinion about yourself determines our behavior and attitude to ourselves, and also has a significant impact on how we interact with a partner in a relationship, how we treat our partner. In the absence of a positive perception of ourselves, two things often happen: we avoid conversations and problems that require our attention; we try compensate for our shortcomings by showing aggression, vanity or neglect. In both the first and second options, the main thing is that we live in denial of our true needs. After all, it is precisely then that it is necessary to be confident in oneself in certain circumstances; we, being unable to be so, choose the models of behavior described above. Often, due to anxiety, we prefer to avoid assertiveness. We are talking about low self-esteem. Low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and the desire to please others lead to a constant readiness to give in, to agree, even when it is necessary to say “no”. In other words, there is a danger of giving up one's personal desires and needs for the sake of the happiness of others. A healthy appreciation of one's personality is accompanied by a deep understanding of oneself and acceptance of one's individuality. When you treat yourself with respect, you will act in situations based on that, and you will also be able to treat your partner with respect. So, the development of healthy self-perception plays a key role in the formation of assertive behavior in relationships. Understanding and accepting oneself, the ability to defend one’s own needs and desires without guilt or fear contribute to the creation of healthy and harmonious relationships. Effective techniques such as managing the inner critic, focusing on progress rather than perfection, and celebrating every small success can support a positive self-perception and promote more confident and assertive behavior in various areas of life. Sincerely, Your Therapist, Coach, Specialist on interpersonal relations, Natalya Akhmedova