How the past affects the present: core negative beliefs and their impact on self-esteem Various experiences, especially those we had in childhood, influence and shape our beliefs about yourself and your sense of self. But if these events happened a long time ago, why do we now perceive ourselves in a negative light? After all, haven't we had experiences as adults that are very different from children? And yet, in our heads we still hear what our parents or other people told us years ago. We hear ourselves tell ourselves: “I didn’t do it well enough,” “I could have done better,” “I’m so stupid.” Why we now have low self-esteem, even when current circumstances are different from past ones, is a result of our deep-seated negative beliefs. Deep negative beliefs are our conclusions about ourselves, which we came to in childhood or adolescence as a result of negative experiences. For example, a child who has been constantly punished and criticized may believe that “I am unwanted” or “I am bad.” These thoughts are what we call core negative beliefs. For a child or young person, these beliefs make sense during these events because they are unable to understand other explanations for what is happening to them. These core negative beliefs are thoughts that tend to be deeply ingrained and ingrained in our minds. They are an assessment of ourselves and our worth as individuals. These beliefs seem to say: “This is who I am.” Here are some examples of deep-seated negative beliefs: “I’m stupid.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not important.” “They don’t like me.” “I’m fat and ugly.” They don’t accept me.” “I’m good for nothing.” “I’m a terrible person.” [/url]Advocating for Yourself: Rules and Assumptions When we strongly believe these negative statements about ourselves, it is not surprising that we feel bad and experience strong negative emotions. Moreover, when we find ourselves in negative situations and come to such negative conclusions about ourselves, the survival instinct is involved. To ensure our survival and functioning, we establish assumptions, rules, and guidelines for living that help protect our self-esteem. Their job is to guard and protect us from the truth of our deep-seated negative beliefs. For example, we might set the following rules: “I must be the best at everything.” “I must never make mistakes.” “I must never show emotion in public.” I must always do the right thing." Or we might form the following assumptions: "If I ask for something I need, I will be humiliated." "No matter what I do, I will never do it well enough." If I can't control my appetite, I'll never be able to control anything in my life." Rules and assumptions can be combined in the following combinations: "I must do my best to gain the approval of others, because if I am criticized, then , they don’t accept me.” “I will not try to do something until I can do it perfectly, because otherwise it will mean my complete failure.” “I should always be slim and dress well, otherwise they won’t accept me.”[/url]Rules and Assumptions - Guides BehaviorThe result of setting rules and assumptions is to guide your behavior. Your daily actions are largely determined by the life rules you set. Logical, isn't it? So, depending on the rules you set, you will try to do everything perfectly, avoid being too close to others, limit yourself in food and exercise hard to stay thin, please others, avoid doing things that are too difficult, avoid doing something you've never done before... the list is endless. Do you understand that setting such life rules and assumptions helps you protect your self-esteem? What happens to.