From the author: There is a reason why people remain alone precisely at those moments when support is most needed. It is important for me to write and talk about shame. Whatever happens to you, this is not a reason to remain isolated from people and without help. My own experience and the experience of clients shows that the most intolerable thing in experiencing life’s troubles is shame and fear. Shame about what is happening and fear of rejection. An irrational fear, beyond any conscious control, that seeing you naked in all your incomprehensibility and powerlessness, in stubbornness, in fear, in your inability to do as you want, someone important will reject you. Maybe in anger, or maybe with a contemptuous curl of his lips and silently. The very thought of this deprives one of the strength to live, paralyzes. Shame and fear become the driving forces that rule actions. And it turns out such a vicious circle - shame for the situation itself and oneself in it provokes actions, which in turn cause new attacks of shame and so on ad infinitum. It seems to me that the exit is where the entrance is. Hehe... Another boring phrase about nothing, I would have thought if I had read and not written this text. Psychological help is such help and so psychological. I will try to explain not in metaphor, but in ordinary human language. It is important to discover yourself at the beginning of a round of shame and grief. Where we told ourselves: it shouldn’t be like this. For normal people, this doesn’t happen. It's a shame that you have it like this. It’s a shame to find yourself in your situation at your age, with your mind, in your environment... And this shame can grow on anything, but the beginning of the revolution is the situation in which a person tells himself something like the following: you should have been right choose a partner, raise children, talk with superiors, teach, know, be able... This is where we enter this labyrinth of the Minotaur. There was a metaphor once again. At the same point, the beginning of the thread that will lead you out of the labyrinth of shame. This is the recognition of what is. Yes, you can get into such a situation. I’m here. Yes, I feel bad and hurt and ashamed. I feel it. Yes, these are difficult feelings and I’m scared. At the same time, I have the right to be here. There is a right to improve and worsen the situation. I am here, and being here is about what is happening to me, not about who I am. Me and what is happening to me now are not the same thing. I am more than this situation, my life is broader than what is happening now. It is in moments of deep shame that it is important to accept oneself as ashamed. This will be a manifestation of that very sincere love and trust in yourself. This is easy to say, but extremely difficult to implement. After all, accepting oneself ashamed means taking a risk. Take the risk that your own imperfections and incorrectness will be visible. This is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. And there is also the fear of aggravating, ruining the situation... Losing the notorious “face.” But without living and accepting shame, there is no way to live this fear of rejection. Without opening up to yourself, without recognizing yourself in grief and fear, there is no way to recognize your right to be who you are here and now. No right to life. After all, the most important and close person, I, rejects us in shame and grief. He says to himself exactly those words that are so scary to hear.