Well, what did you write again? Well, who cares? Look, Nina Ivanova puts the letters into words so well that you can’t tear yourself away! And you? Close your computer and don't worry. Better go wash the dishes. I heard this dialogue in the house of my friends. A 60-year-old pensioner and former teacher scolded her teenage granddaughter. She couldn’t stay away and supported the girl as best she could. After all, if it continues like this, then very soon she will really “close down”, believe that grandma is right and stop presenting herself. In my work, I often have to deal with this kind of fear in my clients. They are afraid not only to declare themselves on social networks, but also to simply speak in unfamiliar company. I propose to figure out what is behind this fear. First of all, the “fear of being seen” is associated with parental guidelines: “Be perfect” and do everything perfectly, and if you can’t, then don’t “Stick your head out,” because modesty is adornment. In some cases, the “fear of being presented” is associated with our grandparents’ fear of being “dispossessed,” “repressed,” or imprisoned. After all, during their childhood and youth it was safer to keep a low profile and remain silent. Such fears are often transmitted genetically and continue to live in us unconsciously. Most of all, people who have a fear of presenting themselves are afraid of facing a negative assessment addressed to them. To be honest, sometimes I experience something similar myself. It is very unpleasant to read unflattering comments, especially from fellow psychologists. Previously, all this unsettled me for several weeks. Now I know where the “Block” button is and mercilessly ban those people who become personal. I admit that a person may disagree with my opinion, but I do not allow him to criticize me personally. In addition to the fear of evaluation, many people fear rejection. For example, I’ll write a post, but they won’t accept me, they’ll ban me. I’ll tell you about myself, but no one will be interested. I’ll share the photo and my friends will pass by. I'd rather remain silent. When I catch myself thinking that I’m afraid to post some information, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and press the “publish” button for my friends. Then I turn off the computer and go for a walk. This helps me breathe out and calm down, after which I can calmly respond to comments and respond adequately to criticism. I am researching the topic of “Fear of presenting myself” more and more often and I am coming to the conclusion that in order to talk openly about yourself you need to: know and accept different parts of yourself, including the “shadow” ones. Learn to support yourself and ask for the support of other people. Allow yourself to do and afraid. At the same time, be in touch with your feelings that may arise after the publication of the material. Recognize the right to your personal boundaries, your opinion and your right to express yourself openly. And say “no” to what doesn’t allow you to do it. Tatyana Pedaeva, psychologist