Clients often come to me with a question: how to stop scolding yourself for everything? In this article I will give 5 tips on how to stop criticizing yourself using the example of my client Ivan (collective image). I scold myself and criticize Ivan, 35, married, works in the IT field. From the outside it seems that everything is good in Ivan’s life. Everyone is alive and well, there is money, an apartment, a car and success in their careers. In fact, Ivan is worried about a lot of things. He is worried, first of all, that he is not good enough as a husband, as a specialist, as a successful person. Ivan often scolds himself and criticizes that he is lazy, that his brother is much more successful than him, that his colleagues move up the career ladder faster. For 6 years now, Ivan has been having obsessive thoughts that he is an unworthy and failed person in life. Often, after such thoughts, a man tried to become ideal: he intensively cleaned the house, washed dishes and cooked food. Sometimes to the point of exhaustion after a hard day of work. He stayed late at work to prove to himself that he was not lazy. Then fatigue, burnout and depression set in; there was no strength for anything. On such a swing of effort and apathy, Ivan slipped more and more into despondency and depression. In this state, Ivan turned to a psychologist, the author of this article. How to stop scolding yourself for everything: 5 tips from a psychologist Discover your inner critic. You need to catch and write down all the thoughts that you berate yourself with. With the support of a psychologist, Ivan began to record his critical thoughts. He found that most of his thoughts about himself were like this. Realize the objectivity of your thoughts about yourself. How true are your thoughts? Or are they imposed by someone? Are you really that lazy and worthless? Ivan, while working with a psychologist, realized that many critical thoughts about himself were imposed by his parents from childhood, and then he learned to scold himself. Ivan was able to understand that most of his thoughts were not objective. Write down your strengths and achievements. Remember everything from children's competitions and cooking skills. From major achievements to small ones, ask your loved ones about your best qualities. Such a list will support you in moments of anxious thoughts. In therapy, Ivan made his own list of 30 points. Thanks to this work, he was able to look at himself in a new way. Invite your inner advocate. Challenge your inner critic. Every time you scold yourself, stop your inner voice of criticism and call for help from your inner advocate. Thanks to the help of a psychologist, Ivan learned to protect and support himself on his own. Allow yourself to be imperfect. You can admit to yourself that you cannot be the best at everything. You allow yourself to make mistakes, to be tired, angry, lazy. We are all human, we need rest and the right to make mistakes. In therapy, Ivan saw how high demands he placed on himself and how much this leads him to anxiety and depression. Ivan continues to work with a psychologist and feels much better. If you constantly scold yourself, criticize, fall into self-criticism and depression, seek help to the psychologist, the author of this article. Why do you scold and criticize yourself? Sign up for a consultation with the author of the article +79872909444