Would you say that you are completely open in your relationships? If this is so, then I am sincerely happy for you. In most cases, people try to hide something from the person who is nearby. Stealth is not even a lie. After all, people just don’t talk about something. It seems like the right position, especially if it can upset or hurt a loved one. But, unfortunately, not everything is so simple. And the benefit of lying (even silently) to save yourself is a controversial issue. People hide what they are afraid to share. It would seem that there is nothing to be afraid of, you communicate with this person, spend time, have sex, live together or raise children. However, secrecy remains one of the most common reasons for relationship breakdown. The fact is that when a person hides something, most often there is some kind of need or desire behind it. It is his person who is trying to hide it. Often behind such secrecy is the fear of condemnation. And condemnation from someone with whom you are in a relationship is very painful. It all starts in childhood, when we were taught that we must be good, that is, do only what we should and like everyone else. And if, God forbid, you wanted something else, then you will be bad. We didn’t want to be bad, and therefore we learned to hide our desires. As adults, we continue to use this model frequently. And we don’t notice that the more we hide our desires, the more dissatisfaction accumulates in us. This most often leads to a state of unhappiness. And when a person begins to feel unhappy, he begins to look for the reasons for this. But the trouble is, we are more often ready to look for the enemy anywhere, but not within ourselves. And it begins to seem that the person who is nearby is to blame for this. After all, it’s easier to blame someone else than to blame yourself. We literally convince ourselves that this person is the cause of our unhappiness. It is with him or her that we become unhappy. As a result, accumulated dissatisfaction leads to people leaving relationships. Naturally, they believe that with another person they will definitely succeed in everything as it should. But, as practice shows, people with such an attitude towards their desires and prone to secrecy remain alone. The solution in such a situation is to reconsider your attitude towards desires and yourself. Fear of condemnation is most often just our invention, which can be abandoned. Psychologist and practitioner Anton Chernykh. You can sign up with me for a personal online consultation to solve problems, change your attitude towards yourself, by writing to me on WhatsApp/Telegram 89205430457