Self-confidence is such a simple and complex quality at the same time! It seems that it should be easily accessible to the child if he does everything no worse than others, and if various opportunities are open to him. And even when not everything succeeds, it seems that he simply does not want to believe in his future success and work on it. How simple: you act, try, don’t give up - and here it is, success! In fact, unfortunately, there is no direct connection here. Quite successful children, who are praised by their parents and supported by their teachers, often suffer from lack of self-confidence. Such a child does not seem to appreciate everything that he has succeeded in, all the words of praise that he hears every day from those around him. As soon as he loses in a game or makes a mistake, he is overcome by an attack of despair: I can’t, I didn’t succeed! Uncertainty appears for various reasons, all of them are extremely difficult to list and describe even in a book, not just in a short article. But, nevertheless, there are general conditions that contribute to the emergence of uncertainty. Firstly, this is the unsuccessful basic position of parents (anxious, overprotective, critical, distrustful, too demanding). Secondly, this is the discrepancy between the words of adults and their emotions. For example, the advice to “praise and encourage the child more often” is sometimes taken literally. The child is praised and encouraged in almost any situation: “You did great!” or “next time you will succeed,” says the mother, but thinks to herself: “oh horror, this is hopeless!” Children feel the emotions of their parents, at this moment your insincere words only further upset the child. The conclusion from here is simple: try to say only what corresponds to your experiences. For example, in the situation described above, it would be better to say the words: “I’m also upset that everything turned out so unsuccessfully, but let’s try again.” Thirdly, the attitude that you should compete with other children and try to become the best. Even if no one says it out loud, it is unconsciously transmitted by adults, since it permeates our entire society. It is precisely this that often makes losing a game so painful or a completely worthy result when someone could do better. It turns out that everything is in order for only one person - the one who is “first” or “most”, all the rest “lost”. Let it begin when you try to consciously relate to its manifestations in your own life and do not forget - the process (of play, learning, creativity) is no less important than the result. Also, the desire to evaluate everything around is not very constructive. Praise is a “good” grade, you don’t want to lose it, so anxiety increases, even if you only give “good” grades to the child yourself, but criticize other children or adults. The ability of parents to express their feelings without judgment is very important. “I’m glad” instead of “that’s good”; “I’m interested” instead of “how correctly you say it”; “I'm upset” instead of “that's bad.” And finally, it's important not to be embarrassed by the fact that your children will see your mistakes. It is especially difficult for the son or daughter of the Ideal Mother to accept their failure. Such a mother never gets angry, does not get upset, does not forget or confuse anything, always fulfills her duties on time, is not lazy, etc. In order to meet her level, the child needs titanic efforts and usually they are not justified. Because every child gets angry, makes mistakes, gets carried away, and feels unwilling to work when necessary. You will say that there is no such thing as an Ideal Mom? But this is exactly how children tend to see a mother who simply does not report her true feelings and always tries to be affectionate and cheerful - no matter what happens. Here are attitudes that will help a child feel truly confident: I can do a lot myself (by age: get dressed, draw something, solve a problem, meet children on the playground, etc.) (a lot - but not all, being independent does not mean not needing help). My achievements are worthy of respect (even if for adults these.