The topic of raising children and attitude towards children is probably no less important, if not more relevant, than the topic of relationships with parents, which I touched on a little in my previous article, where I talked about how to cope with grievances against parents. When raising your children, We not only create and shape the future of our child, but we also create and shape our own future, which will not be entirely cloudless if we raise our children incorrectly. Unpedagogical and illiterate upbringing of children will result in problems for us at school, increased teenage negativism, and simply frequent illnesses of the child, not to mention his problems in his adult life. Summarizing my personal pedagogical experience of working at school, experience of counseling children and their parents, as well as my personal experience of raising my son, I have highlighted, in my opinion, the most important aspects in raising children and relationships with children, which minimize problems in the formation and maturation of a child. The first and most important aspect in raising children, I believe, is the personality of the parents ! The way a parent behaves, what is in his thoughts and soul, is unprecedented, without censorship, read and assimilated by the child, absorbed and built inside his psyche. Strictly speaking, this is how a child’s psyche is formed, through imitation of significant adults, through appropriating the internal states of adults, especially the mother, with whom a child up to one year old perceives himself as a single whole. Then comes the imitation of the father and other adults. The child begins to notice and internalize the family scenario that affects him, even if mom and dad are not quarreling in his presence. The child captures the atmosphere in the family, he becomes a barometer of the parents’ attitude towards each other. From birth to one year, the child learns the world through the world of his mother. If the mother is anxious, depressed, conflicted, she is offended and upset by the father or someone else, then the child will absorb all the negative feelings, as people say “with mother’s milk,” and will be formed in this way in the future. Therefore, it is so important to create good conditions for the mother even during pregnancy, so that she experiences as many positive emotions as possible, and for the mother and father to work on themselves, on their upbringing, on their inner world, and then the children will receive a good example to follow and Raising a child will become much easier. When a child is brought to me for consultation with a problem of aggressive behavior at school, increased negativity, the root of such behavior is always found in the family. A child is born with certain personality traits, but when he sees how dad treats mom with disrespect, yells at her, and maybe hits her, then he himself begins to treat mom the same way. If a child is shouted at, or even beaten, then he will do this with other children in kindergarten or at school. Then the parent will definitely “fly in” from teachers and educators. A glaring example, the mother of one of my seven-year-old clients said: “I only allow my father to hit him not with his hand, but with a belt”! They complained that the child was very pugnacious and was beating his classmates. In almost all cases, I work with both children and their parents, because without changing their behavior, working with the child will not be so effective. We always, at any age, have something to improve in ourselves, and there is room to grow above ourselves and develop so that our children can follow our example. The second aspect in effective parenting, I believe, is love and respect for children. In order for a child to listen to you and fulfill your requests, you cannot do without respect for the child’s personality. If you observe the youngest children, you can already see that each one manifests its own character, not to mention the fact that this is a divine essence, a divine creation, which is given to us parents as a gift! Children are very sensitive and they feel very subtly how they are treated, although they cannot determine what exactly is wrong. When a child is not respected, with his!