The issue of elderly relatives has become especially relevant during quarantine. Some are worried that their poor parents are forced to sit all alone. And that now the more you love them, the further you should stay away from them. Others are driven crazy by having to be cooped up with their elders 24/7. And this, my brothers, will be more difficult than taking a distance learning course at school with children. First, I’ll tell you about the first ones. BE AWARE. Having talked with a dozen elderly women in quarantine, I did not find a single one who was deeply suffering from their situation. Most of them suddenly isolated themselves from their children and grandchildren at the first opportunity. Finally, for the first time in many years, they are “at home” without feeling guilty: that they don’t take their grandchildren to clubs, don’t bake Sunday pies and don’t spend money on all your birthdays. It’s not entirely obvious how long they will feel happy, but for now nothing suggests otherwise. Moreover, summer is ahead, with its fertile dachas and vegetable gardens. And your dear neighbor, in the same self-isolation, will always hospitably open the door to a bored friend. If you want to do something nice for your elderly parents, Internet services can help you. Pay their utilities and telephone bills, arrange for food delivery, throw in a few good books, and regularly organize Skype meetings with your grandchildren. It seems to be good for you here too - the children will be distracted, and the grandparents will experience special relief from their “forced” situation when Skype ends. With the second group, everything is not clear, so we’ll tell you more about it. Most often, the old people who live with us seem to us to be almost full-fledged opponents. Such “invaders” into our existence. They always whine, grumble, and interfere with their advice. And this is not to mention physical dysfunctions! If you look at all this more deeply, you can see that we are, in fact, not fighting with these people. We are at war with old age. We will all grow old (if we're lucky). We know that. But to forgive and accept this living evidence of what we will be like sooner or later is beyond our strength. We do not agree with their aging and until the very end we see them as adults, full-fledged people, explaining everything irreversible with bad character. And we quarrel with them, trying to “fix” them, but in fact, to subjugate time. Yes, they were once like us. But now, when they practically see death ahead, this is a tribe completely incomprehensible to us. And then there are all of you nearby - young people, daily reminding us of their “obsolescence”. Of course, the old guard really wants to mean something to us - otherwise, where to put all this accumulated experience? And they quarrel with us because for many this is the only way to feel “alive”. It's great when something depends on you! Even if it’s the mood of those around you! It’s pointless to support a quarrel. Contain your negativity by any means necessary. Make jokes back. The older the joke, the better it will work. Pretend you don't hear. Gracefully move the conversation to a safe topic. My children have meticulously mastered these methods, and now I can hardly notice the catch 🙃 Retreat from the room for a while. The main thing is not to show that you were hurt by offensive words. Between indifference and aggression, the old man will always choose aggression. In children, by the way, everything happens the same way. And older people advise us at every step what to do and what to do. Behind this is not so much worry for you! Rather, it’s concern about how your failures will affect their lives. You're connected! When you were children, everything was exactly the opposite. Surely, you played out stories about what would happen to you if... That is, being less informed on current issues, they are much more afraid of your problems than you yourself. In this case, try to tell them exclusively about your victories and successes. They will be calmer, and so will you. And stop trying to make them better! You won't succeed anyway. They are what they are. Our loved ones. What helps you?