Another great resource is constructive aggression. The first thing a child learns in childhood is “No!” And only then does “Yes!” appear. Having not mastered “No!” and “Yes!” it won't work out completely. Without learning to push away, end, leave, and truly get closer, you won’t be able to. Intimacy without aggression is simply impossible. Just like good sex! Aggression in relationships is necessary. Sooner or later you discover that you don’t like something, something doesn’t fit, something is missing. Talking about it, defending yourself, asking - these are all manifestations of constructive aggression. And defending your boundaries comes here too. I often hear the phrase at sessions: “I try to avoid conflict.” Is it possible to avoid conflict? I think it's impossible. If there is already tension, dissatisfaction, even if you don’t openly talk about it, the conflict already exists. Conflict is a difference in interests, desires, discrepancy, non-agreement. And if it is “under the rug,” then the relationship begins to slowly “rot.” Especially with aggression, of course, it’s a bit bad in a codependent relationship. In such relationships, indirect aggression reigns. For example, a wife is angry with her husband, but the son receives blows and dissatisfaction. In Gestalt therapy, this process is called deflection. Or another example, a husband cheats, and thus takes revenge on his wife because she does not give him enough attention and gratitude. And when clients learn to use their aggression in the therapy process, a qualitative leap occurs in the relationship. Aggression is a resource because it allows you to take care of yourself and your needs. Don’t quietly wait on the sidelines when my time comes, but take from life what you need! And the conflict doesn’t go away on its own. You need to talk about what you don’t like, ask for what you want and negotiate with others. If you don’t make a choice, don’t reject what you don’t like and doesn’t suit, then you will not live your life without joy and pleasure. I read directly the soul rejoices, it turned out to be a hymn of aggression. What do you think about aggression? I invite you to my new projects: 1st stage of training for Gestalt therapists Supervisory group for beginner Gestalt therapists To sign up for groups, write to me in any messenger by phone +79265968715