A client's story. “The very thought of having to look for money again for a new project throws me off balance. Vicious circle. No matter what I do, it’s not enough.” She, overcoming the tension, held back tears. The jaws were like a heavy press, holding back a cry of despair. Hopelessness...How to be torn between what I love and want and what I should. Must find solutions to pay off loans. And then work hard from morning to night to earn that same money. Feelings of love and compassion rise within me. “Big Mother” wants to hug, stroke her head and wipe away her tears. And I sit and look at this state. And she starts crying and saying something. Her confused bundle of feelings and emotions begins to unravel through her body and words. I don’t console her or say that she is strong and that everything will definitely work out. “It’s truly unbearable when it seems that all your actions and decisions do not give the expected result. It’s an unbearable feeling when you blame yourself for everything: for decisions made, for delays. When you demand the impossible from yourself. I see how hard it is to bear this burden, this responsibility,” - it’s as if I’m voicing her inner voices, which she herself cannot yet do. She needs someone who will see her. She is real - and incredibly strong, and sometimes so vulnerable and unprotected that you just need hands to pick her up and “cradle her.” To say that I am nearby, and you can just be. We can fall into “childhood states” when helplessness presses us into reality. And then we seem to freeze, there is no way out, everything is bad and it will never end. This is “trauma” that recreates the situation as it tries to complete itself. The problem is that she cannot do this herself, since she lacks experience. Which? This is a good question! To move there, you first need time to “LIVE” those feelings that have arisen. Therefore, we give place to anger, anger, sadness, hopelessness... And we notice what happens to the body. From tension, numbness, lack of sensitivity, we move on to warmth, movement of energy, relaxation... And now from a new state, we can look at the solution to the problem. “The problem can never be solved from the level at which it was created!” The first thing we what we do is let the “brain” know that this will definitely end. We clarify details with work, deadlines, plans. Our “commander-in-chief – the brain” must see the whole picture. He can do this only from a resource state. And this is the art of the therapist (often personal life experiences and conditions) to help the client from the “funnel of trauma” into healing and resource. So, if the brain understands that this will end, then you can move on to strategies... And here we meet the cause of procrastination or delays: fear and missing experience. And you can call it like this: “how is this? when you succeed, it's fucking amazing. And it's mine! I am the owner, I am rich!” This is something that hasn’t happened yet, or hasn’t been registered in the neocortex as an experience. Well, of course, I’m divided in epithets. As a child, it’s a simple missed experience when I have something of my own, for example, my own toy, my own room, my own space... Something that belongs only to the child and his right is respected. Do you know when children are greedy? This is the same feeling of appropriation and filling that occurs. But when parents say that it’s bad to be greedy, they take away things in favor of others, manipulate (if you behave badly, I’ll take them away) or simply say that we don’t have money and there’s nothing of yours here. Then a void is formed. “I don’t know how to feel when I have this...” Then I can try really hard to “do”, but I can’t enjoy the experience of appropriation... I asked: “Do you have something that is only yours?” There was a long pause. “I have a place where I like to be alone.” and work there, at a cafe table,” she answered after a while. “Tell me more about it,” I continued. And in this simple process, I help her brain and body create a new experience: “what it’s like to be when it’s only my".?