Probably, each of us has repeatedly faced the fact that we are not succeeding in something, some business, work that, perhaps, is still too difficult for us or we missed something in it for personal reasons, we failed the exam or we scold ourselves for not being able to defend ourselves in front of our boss, loved ones or strangers. I think everyone probably has their own example, and more than one. What happens to us when so-called failure happens. How can we survive it? Do we understand and feel that this is a failure or are we trying to fix everything right away? This failure can be felt by us as something uncomfortable, unpleasant, and sometimes very unbearable, burning, even punishing. Our internal censor can really punish us for how “less” we are... “unprofessional”, “not skilled”, that our hands are crooked and “no brains at all”, that we still need to work hard and fix everything. But it happens that it is impossible to fix anything or return it, like a crystal glass broken into small pieces. This critic punishes our personality rather than our actions, which makes our already suppressed emotions worse. And this inner voice can be quite strong, it seems to press on us from above, as if we were being crushed by a concrete block, as a result of which we are covered with a large wave of guilt. Of course, these are very strong sensations and not everyone may be able to track them, since they can be so unbearable and severe that you want to avoid them, just as after a bitter medicine you want to quickly find a sweet soothing taste, despite the fact that bitterness also carries beneficial properties for the body. The difficulty of the whole experience is to be able to withstand a complex range of these emotions within oneself, as if being able to look inside oneself as if at a screen on which a not-so-pleasant film is being broadcast. And here we are in a hole, we failed. We blame and are angry with ourselves, that it’s all because of us, how bad we are, we didn’t cope, we probably have little knowledge, we were poorly prepared, a long monologue begins inside, turning into rumination, what and how could be said , it was necessary... I would... if he.., then I would..., and this does not give us peace and no one cancels this feeling in any way, does not give us an indulgence in order to somehow free us from the shackles of guilt, punishment and anger . When we have this screen inside where we can see how this “bullying of us” unfolds, we can not be so hard on ourselves, we can allow ourselves to experience anger, guilt, fear, disappointment, sadness. We can give them a place within ourselves as what is happening to us right now, without trying to drown out guilt, replace anger with joy and start everything “from scratch,” thereby splitting off our important experiences. It’s like a kind of container where we We put our, so to speak, not the most delicious and fresh ingredients. And then it becomes possible to name them, live and go about your normal activities, but in the presence of these complex feelings, without focusing on them. It turns out that we kind of welcome them “to our home.” And now they no longer seem so scary to us. As time passes, it is individual for each person, we can find how it becomes easier for us, that at some point we can forgive ourselves, we can stop this monologue, the opportunity arises to raise our heads again and look around. The inner observer helps us not to persecute or destroy ourselves. He offers us a different way of living, he gives us the opportunity to look at failure differently and gives us the strength to move on, bringing out many useful properties, qualities that might not have been available to us if it weren’t for failure. “Inner screen, container, observer, where can I get it?”: you ask. Each person has it unique and of different volumes. Psychotherapy promotes the development of the “third eye”, since it is in the presence of the second eye, which withstands us and our any feelings and emotions for a long time, that we also learn.