INSIDED RECOMMENDATIONS. A psychologist, like a good doctor or master, is recommended. And most people come to me through recommendations. And the more people, the more curiosities. Sometimes the situation reaches a dead end in the first minute. As today. The woman came on the recommendation of an osteopath and froze right at the door. The osteopath said that she needed to solve the problem at a new level. And she was expecting new equipment, but saw a chair, toys and a couch folded in the corner. Of course, it is difficult to say what the osteopath actually said and meant, and what did the woman hear? Or: - They told me that YOU WILL definitely HELP. I don't want to draw. Just tell me what to do. For some reason, there is an idea that someone knows better what needs to be done. Recommendations like: - They will help you, - They will decide everything there, - You need a psychologist... they give rise to high, unrealistic EXPECTATIONS. They IGNORE the role of the client, placing all responsibility and decisions on the psychologist (massage therapist, doctor, master...). Unjustified expectations combined with ignorance will raise anger (accompanied by disappointment), including at the one who made the recommendation. This anger can be expressed both openly and in more subtle forms, such as avoidance. Yes, and giving a Recommendation in this form is also hidden, unconscious aggression. Where someone is “cured” by removing, for example, a hernia or gall bladder, another has the idea that they will be crippled. They are justified and often supported by the experience of friends. Where it will be tasty for you, it will be bland or spicy for someone else... What to do? Especially if you sincerely want to help? Give a recommendation in accordance with the Rules of Healthy Communication. Remember the broadcast about these 5 skills? It's simple! It is important to tell a person not about a specialist, but ABOUT YOURSELF - how was it useful to you? For example, that YOU (and not a specialist) solved your problem. Or how pleasant it was for YOU to communicate. Either YOU were able to quickly make a decision, or convenient parking... If you did not have such experience, then such a recommendation will not happen. But, if you have heard a lot about a specialist, then you can say that your friends went and SOLVED their issue or THEY liked something. It’s better to say what exactly (conveniently located office, communication, material, price...). Then the recommendation will work. There will be no expectation that someone will decide something for you. Or it will be minimal (for example, in price, material, convenience). And a message of endless gratitude will fly to you! ❤️. Do you agree? How does it work for you? Do similar cases and oddities happen? #psychologist Svetlana Vitalievna #psychosomatics_specialist