From the author: Everything I write about is the result of understanding personal and therapeutic experience. All articles and notes are the author’s. Please keep this in mind if you want to share them. So, you have decided to become a mother! And your loved one also agrees to become a dad. You spend hours browsing forums for expectant mothers, choosing a clinic, a doctor, buying piles of magazines... and your other half continues to behave the same way as before making this important decision. And in the soul of such a calm and confident woman, doubts arise: what if his paternal instinct never wakes up? Down with doubts! And... long live information! Let's figure out together what this very “paternal instinct” is and when does it wake up? From the point of view of science. From Latin, “instinct” is translated as “impulse”, and in the biological sense it is an innate characteristic of the genus and species, i.e. . hereditary, a tendency to a certain behavior or course of action. It is carried out automatically. It is interesting that no matter how purposeful the actions may seem, there is no conscious anticipation of the outcome, as well as awareness of their expediency or necessity. So it turns out that instinctive actions can neither be planned nor stopped once they have already begun. Humans and animals have similar instincts - survival, protection, procreation. But the behavior of humans and animals is very different. Therefore, from the point of view of science, humans have no instincts. On the other hand, some aspects of male child-loving behavior are associated with the hormone oxytocin, which makes a man more gentle, faithful and caring. But the maximum level of this hormone in the blood of men is reached only by the age of 35-40, and children, as a rule, appear earlier. Therefore, let's try to look at the situation differently. It would be more correct to consider that parental feelings are not just an instinct, but rather acquired experiences. The mother’s feelings towards the baby are more clearly expressed, because she is physiologically connected with the unborn child, for nine months their hearts beat side by side. Then breastfeeding, close contact, care. All this contributes to a strong attachment. But fatherly love, unlike paternal instinct, exists. It’s just that this love is of a different nature than a mother’s. What can a dad do? He, like you, is infinitely happy about the birth of a child. He just expresses this joy differently. Do not forget that for a man, the pregnancy of his beloved and the birth of a baby is not only joy, but also a lot of stress. It is difficult for a man to immediately get into a normal rhythm. But as your pregnancy progresses, he too experiences changes. In a man's body, the level of cortisol increases, which is responsible for attentiveness. Prolactin levels also change, and this is associated with breastfeeding and maternal instinct. Testosterone levels change in the first weeks after birth. Such changes in a man’s body allow the paternal instinct to manifest itself, and the man to get used to the new role. Yes, it’s hard to believe, but as soon as you told him that you were expecting a child, he already loves him, and, moreover, he is concerned about how to provide for, protect and educate him. However, dad does not immediately experience the first, truly stronger feelings. At the age of 10-12 weeks, the baby begins to fix his gaze on the adult’s face, recognize and clearly rejoice: animatedly move his arms and legs, smile and coo invitingly. That’s when the man is overcome by a surge of real, undisguised joy: “He looks at me, recognizes me, rejoices!” - this is what awakens the whole range of fatherly feelings. And from that moment on, this baby is his child, to whom his life is now dedicated. Such different love. Yes, nature has given a man a different place in raising children than a woman, but history has also left its mark. Paternal feelings and behavior are no longer a biological phenomenon, but a social one. Thus, until the middle of the twentieth century, it was believed that the mother should be involved in raising children, and the man took responsibility for?