From the author: This article is intended for both parents and novice school psychologists, but it will be of interest, perhaps, to everyone whose activities are related to education, pedagogy and psychology. “My child is gold!” - perhaps I will not be mistaken if I say that it is from this phrase that most school psychologists experience, at best, bouts of mild nausea. Of course, in the conditions of the usual inner circle, in your family, where your child knows the established local hierarchy and his place in it, it can be gold and even a more precious and significant element... although, as practice shows, this assessment within the family occurs on the basis of exclusively subjective conclusions, and parents can be touched even by the fact that today their beloved child was leading I felt surprisingly calm and didn’t throw a single tantrum. It was precisely this position of parents that prompted me to write this article - “at home our child is gold, but at your school...” which most often through their lips is transformed into the painful “my child is gold , and your school is just bad." Sad wording, isn't it? I'm afraid the best thing that can be offered to such parents is to immediately change schools. Which is what I often do, not forgetting to warn the representatives of the “gold” that after they change the fourth school in a row, it’s time to think about serious family consultation. Namely family consultation - since the problem of primary education lies precisely with the parents and the closest circle of representatives child - the primary model of society with its morality, laws and foundations is a family raising a child. And it is precisely the mistakes of family upbringing that subsequently result in teachers’ headaches. So, the “lycan” child is a golden nugget at home... no, PURE GOLD OF THE HIGHEST STANDARD, which the disgusting school is trying to tarnish and adjust to some vile framework and Federal State Educational Standards, and in that same school - a lump of dirt and bad manners, foul-mouthed, fighting, yelling at teachers and spoiling the nerves of everyone around him. Let's understand the root of this problem, having first dissected it into members. 1) Obscene language. More often than not, the least of all evils. Swearing exhibited by a child when communicating with peers can come from both the family and a wider circle of contacts - kindergarten, playmates in the sandbox, or the same first grade. Initially, you should establish the time when these deviations began to appear - in order to clarify where the airwaves for the sessions were collected from. This is followed by an individual conversation with the child to clarify his understanding of the severity of the offense committed and the source of its origin. Most often, resolving this problem does not require serious efforts. 2) The child’s attitude towards others - both peers and teachers - is entirely determined in the family. Why? The answer is simple: dad yelled at mom for “mismanagement” because of two specks of dust - the child, using the example shown, yells at his desk neighbor for blowing debris from an eraser onto the desk. Mom slapped dad in response - and now the cub is already devoutly distributing slaps, just to keep up with his parents. Dad called my grandmother a three-letter word and called her old, sorry, perichnetsy - and now teachers are already hearing insults directed at them... the list goes on and on. The simplest analogies drawn by a child’s intellect are most often simple and naive to a pronounced degree. To solve this problem, a conversation with parents and correction of the general moral level of the child’s development is necessary. That's the correction! Already! Immediately! In the future, it will only get worse. And it would be nice to move family relationships to a qualitatively higher level. 3) The general emotional background of the child shapes his overall behavior. His educational motivation, positive or negative attitude towards others, the quality of his actions and perception of the world around him depend on the child’s mood. However, the formation and, especially, the observation of emotions outside of behavior is not a simple process..