I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

Imagine that your personality is a house in which different sides of it live. How is the family. And in this family there is a character who constantly interferes with living and satisfying important needs. He often whispers, especially when you fail: “you won’t succeed, he doesn’t love you, how lazy you are, who needs you, there’s something wrong with you...”. Meet your inner critic. To understand how to cope with it, you first need to study it. This part of the personality is laid down in childhood and is supplemented throughout life. This is a collective image of adults who scolded, accused, humiliated, and shamed a child. Mom, dad, grandparents, and then teachers and peers. The child absorbs the evil words spoken to him like a sponge and learns to treat himself the same way as significant adults. This happens because the child’s psyche is dependent, and the child understands who he is and what he is like through the attitude of other people towards him. Only over time does he learn to gradually form his own opinion about himself. And sometimes even an adult remains forever hostage to someone else’s opinion. He looks at himself through the eyes of classmates who made fun of him, or a strict mother. Forms the internal critic and the child’s own interpretation of the communication situation. Mom came home tired and had dinner with a straight face. The son happily begins to tell a story that happened in kindergarten. The mother does not have the strength to react, the child sees her face, and his passion gradually fades away. He doesn't understand the reasons for his mother's behavior. More precisely, he understands that the reason is his badness and uselessness to her. Then the child grows up and accumulates the experience of defeats, which also strengthens the inner critic. The more such experiences, the larger and stronger the critic becomes. Defeats in one area create self-doubt and fears (our critic). They do not allow us to gain experience of victory in this area in the future. For example, a boy at school was unpopular among girls. His deskmate rejected him and gave his love note to the teacher. The whole class laughed, and he concluded: it seems that the girls don’t like me, there’s something wrong with me, it’s better not to show your feelings. Having become a young man, he is already afraid to make acquaintances, but he still tries. He mumbles something under his breath and if he receives a refusal, he affirms his opinion: I’m a bad man, women don’t like me. The problem becomes fixed, and the negative experience interferes with building relationships in the future. The critic grows and strengthens within the personality and controls more and more manifestations of the man. This is how any problem that exists for a long time in a person is created, repeats itself. I dare say that every human problem works this way, or most of them. Write, what is the most problematic area of ​​your life at the moment? Appearance, relationships, money, profession, blogging, something else? In what area of ​​your life is the critic strong and your insecurity is high??