As I study and practice, I find that I am deeply confronted with some of the views conveyed by my therapy teachers or colleagues. Since the time of Freud, it has been known that any confrontation with a psychoanalyst on issues of psychoanalysis is resistance. Since my training, I have learned that trying to create something of your own is narcissism. However, I will still risk talking about things with which I do not agree. In principle, I am not an innovator here at all - I am sure many have confronted this.1. Our psyche is formed in early childhood (at best, up to seven years). This creates the framework of our personality, which hardly changes. I am absolutely sure that our psyche is formed throughout our lives. All the choices we make affect us, our brain. Deep changes are possible, because our brain is plastic, and thoughts have no underlying reality. Every moment is important! Otherwise, what do we have left? Blame your parents all your life? And what, billions of years of evolution led to this? This is incredible primitivism.2. If you had a good childhood, then as an adult you will have a fairly strong sense of self. If not, then it’s not fate, because you were not given something deeply important for the formation of your self. In a certain sense, you are doomed - your personality has not developed normally and you must now receive psychotherapy for life. I have seen this view in different versions. People who share it believe that something has gone wrong in their development. Yes, it definitely worked. But we are not reduced to such injuries! They can seal our personality in a protective shell, but they cannot touch our deepest being. In Zen they say that our nature cannot be contaminated by anything and the nature of all beings is Buddha nature. No trauma can destroy it. The worst thing is that this view creates people dependent on therapy. A person begins to think that he was destroyed or spoiled in childhood, that the lack of the necessary environment did not allow something important to manifest itself and now it can only be obtained from the outside, especially from a therapist. And we hope for therapy, as if for manna from heaven. We have all this within ourselves! Are we really doomed to be dependent, needy, like robots who were not given all the necessary parts during manufacturing? Don't you think this is stupidity, dooming us to the impossibility of leading our lives without a therapist, guru, teacher or anyone else? Are there really not enough sheep in the flock anyway? I do not deny the deficits that our ego experiences. But what is this habit of defining a person through pathology? Where did this disease come from? We have completely ignored the last 150 years of the subtler and higher realities of the soul and spirit (giving them the deepest meaning of millennia before), and define ourselves by the disturbances that we are able to see in the mind and behavior. This is truly sad. There is no need to ignore the discoveries of psychoanalysis, that’s not what I’m talking about. But there is no need to fixate on them, elevating them to the ultimate truth about man! I am sure that our nature contains the best qualities. And it is indestructible by any injury.3. Oh horror, I’m borderline! I’ve encountered this opinion about myself even from experienced therapists. It seems to me that we criminally simplify the area of ​​​​suffering of human beings and hang derogatory labels on ourselves. Firstly, no one has seen within any core of personality that may have some property of “borderlineness”. You can spend your entire life treating borderlines that don’t exist. I am deeply convinced that you cannot make such things part of your identity. This is poisonous in itself. Borderline personality organization is a somewhat descriptive label for the internal experience when the structure within is not enough and the person is overwhelmed by chaos. This is not a characteristic of the essence of a person, his core. There are brilliant observations from clinicians who have shown that some people need different tools to heal than most. For most of us, parts of our selves are stuck in early stages of development. We are all part?