From the author: Balancing family and career...Ideal relationships in marriage are possible only when they are not a necessary condition for human survival.I. Yalom. Have you ever heard about family crises? Different sources give different dates - one year, three, five, seven years, ten years, and so on. In fact, in any year of marriage, any difficulties in relationships can be attributed to some kind of “crisis of 3 years”, “crisis of 5 years”. The point is not in the number of years lived together, but in what difficulties precede this and how to overcome these difficulties. The crisis of the first year of family life is usually provoked by difficulties in blending in characters, differences in behavior in everyday life and during the period of romantic courtship, different tastes of partners, ideas about the role of wife and husband, trying to build their family in the image of their parents. The process of forming common habits and giving up old ones can be painful. Psychologists say that if people love each other with unconditional love, then this crisis is easily experienced. During this period, it is important to remember that when you break off this relationship and enter into the next one, you will again face the same period of grinding in. And next to you there will be another person, maybe more like you, maybe less, but he will be “different” and it is important to let him be different, as he is, and not as you want him to be. The same applies to yourself. Even when you choose to compromise or make concessions, remain yourself. Study your partner, treat him with curiosity, and not with the conviction that he was different before. Build your relationships on what is truly important to you. Learn to negotiate and create rules of interaction. Create your own common traditions that would be pleasant to both. The crisis of the firstborn. After the first stage of living together has been successfully completed, a child usually appears in the family. Roles and priorities change. Time and attention are distributed differently to each other. In a system where there were previously 2 people, a third person not only appears, but becomes the center of this system. The woman becomes preoccupied with the baby, and the man may experience a feeling of jealousy. It is important to remember here that you are now not only parents, but also remain a couple, people who love each other. Your role has not changed from wife to mom, from husband to dad, but a new role of mom/dad has been added. Continue calling each other by name. Make time for communication between the two of you and about what is interesting to you and your partner personally, and not just about caring for the child (from 15-20 minutes a day and there is no upper limit, the more the better). It is worth remembering that the best thing you can do for your child is to build a strong, loving relationship with his other parent. A successful marriage is a structure that needs to be reconstructed every day. A. MoruCrisis of monotony. Its occurrence is facilitated by a familiar, established life, the disappearance of romantic moods, an increase in the manifestation of negative emotions and a sharp reduction in positive emotions. The spouses begin to live according to the formula: work-home-work-home, and at home everything is familiar and streamlined. The couple is busy raising children, earning money, buying some necessary things and may forget what brought them joy and what aroused their interest. A crisis situation can arise without the influence of any external factors, without the intervention of parents, betrayal or any inappropriate behavior of one of the spouses. Statistics show that at this stage, women most often initiate the breakup. Men are more likely to appreciate what they have invested in over the past few years and their efforts to create a family and a home where everything is familiar. Of course, everything is individual and cases are different, but statistics say that even outside relationships during this period have no value for most spouses and they easily part with them in order to preserve the family and what has already been created. To overcome this crisis, it is important to understand that feeling.