How to distinguish love from affection? “I loved him so much that I was ready to crawl after him on my knees,” this is what my client said about her feeling. But was it love? We are often mistaken when we call affection love. Let's figure it out. I'm ready to do anything for him! - Yes, this is him, the one I dreamed of, I was so looking forward to meeting him! I will not miss my happiness! - you exclaim and do everything to become ideal for him. But this is not the same as being yourself, being natural. You increasingly have to change masks to match him, your deity. You try your best to be the best everywhere: both in the kitchen and in bed... You begin to think more not about your own, but about his pleasure. And what about him? At first he is delighted by this, and then he gets used to it and takes it for granted. You are infuriated by the absence of his “wow!”, and you pour out a tub of irritation on him. This unexpected manifestation of you causes a conflict, and you have a feeling of guilt. - I’m not perfect, I couldn’t be perfect, it’s all because of me…. Sound familiar? Stop! The reason for everything is not your imperfection, but your attitude: love must be earned! And your fear of being rejected. You need to work with them. And having removed them, you will ask yourself other questions: Am I good in this relationship? Am I free in this relationship? Can I be myself in this relationship? Do I get pleasure in this relationship? Being a loving and loved mother is wonderful, but only for your children. Affectionate, gentle, caring, empathic... And for a husband? For a husband - a friend, partner, lover. Helpful in moderation. A woman likes to feel needed. But here we must be vigilant, and not allow help to develop into overprotection, and the role of a woman to be replaced by the role of a mother. He can do it, he can handle it himself, he will do it, he is an adult man, not your child! Don’t tower over him! Don’t do it to him dependent! Over time, he will want to get rid of such guardianship and run away... to another less caring woman, and not to his mother! I must endure and forgive. Question - to whom? Why and for what? It's just a stereotype that a woman should do this. They don’t like people like that, they wipe their feet on them when dopamine declines. They love different people, including the obstinate. And your negative attitudes speak for you. Be simpler and people will be drawn to you. You hear someone’s words from your “beautiful far away” and try your best to be modest, and not the bitch that was before you. So quiet, a little downtrodden, homely... Is this really how you want to live your whole life? What will happen later when you get tired of this role? The most important thing in a relationship is confidence and naturalness! Always remain yourself and listen to your heart! And if negative attitudes are bothering you, contact us, we will work through them!