From the author: “A friend is a friend in need” Unfortunately, this phrase often becomes a way to manipulate us. Subscribe to new publications by the author of the article to receive notifications about new publications and notes. Original articles “A friend is a friend in need” - we have often heard this phrase. A true friend will always come to the rescue when the need arises. We want to count on it. Unfortunately, this phrase often becomes a way to manipulate us. Under the influence of this phrase, we often sacrifice our interests or are forced to do something unacceptable to us. Sometimes situations arise when it is vital to say the magic three-letter word - “NO”. There can be many reasons: you are asked for something unacceptable to you, you don’t have time, there are more important things to do, etc. For example, your friend is experiencing financial difficulties and offers you participation in a financial fraud, supposedly he cannot cope on his own. What to do in this case? Agree? What if this contradicts your moral and ethical beliefs? How to refuse a loved one and at the same time maintain a good relationship? There are several simple principles that can help in such a situation: Make sure that you are talking about the same thing. Misunderstandings often occur when the same word can have different meanings for different people. What exactly are they asking you to do? Make sure you understand the meaning of the request correctly. Try to retell it in your own words and ask if this is true. Share the problem and the person close to you. So, now you are sure of what they want from you, are you ready to do it? No? Of course, this is a problem, but you and I are not omnipotent Gods. Yes, there is something you cannot do, resurrect the dead, for example, does this mean that you are a bad friend? Speak in the first person. I hope you understand that any attempts to convince or explain to a friend that this is not right or illegal will be perceived by him as condemnation or an attack. This will force him into a defensive position. Talk about yourself, your feelings and experiences. Speak clearly and confidently. When you mumble, you only create false hopes for the other person. Remember it is your right to say “NO”. If my interlocutor has the right to ask me for help, then I have the right to refuse him or agree. Determine the basic need. What does your friend really need? If he asks for help to carry out a money fraud, apparently he needs money, or lacks adrenaline, or maybe he wants to prove something to himself or someone else. Suggest another solution. Perhaps your friend’s need can be satisfied somehow differently? Try to find other solutions and your value in the eyes of your friend will increase. After all, you will show that you don’t give a damn, despite the fact that you cannot help in a specific matter. Is it easy for you to say no to a loved one? How do you do it? Tell us in the comments