It is important for all of us to feel the support of loved ones. Especially in difficult situations. In this article we will discuss how you can help a person cope with the feelings caused by the tragedy in Crocus City on March 22, 2024. An important point to pay attention to! Before providing assistance, make sure that you yourself have enough resources for this. If you are emotionally exhausted, follow the recommendations for self-help. I talk in detail about psychological self-help in the article at the link: https://www.b17.ru/article/516884/Remember that you cannot help a person from an exhausted state. You will only increase his anxiety. First, restore yourself, and then we help your loved ones. Now let's talk about supporting loved ones. What you shouldn’t do: Don’t say: don’t exaggerate, calm down, shut up, stop crying, that you’re stressing yourself out. These phrases create a feeling of misunderstanding. The person who hears them does not feel supported. Do not constantly try to extinguish the emotions of your loved one and switch attention to something else. You need to live through what happened and let your emotions out. Unexpressed emotions simply go deep and then appear again. Do not divide the feelings of your loved one into harmful and useful. Do not judge him correctly or feel incorrectly. He is experiencing what happened like this, accept it. If a person is crying, don’t stop him, let him cry. Don’t incite panic by saying “what a nightmare, what will happen now.” There is no need to go into hyper-protection and total help in everything. Yes, help is important, but it is worth maintaining a balance. Remember that actions, even simple everyday ones, help overcome stress. How to provide support: Let the person talk, just listen without making judgments. Even if he repeats the same thing over and over again. Don't stop. It is important for a person to live through this state, to express his emotions through tears and words. Name the state in words. For example: you are scared/painful/difficult/hard. A person experiencing shock often has difficulty breathing. He speaks and cries, as if choking. If this happens, say directly “breathe, breathe.” Give physical support, hugs. Be there if possible. You don't have to be actively communicating all the time, but be available for conversation. Discuss with the person the need to limit information. Constant monitoring of the news only increases anxiety. Involve in activities. Offer help around the house, grocery shopping together, walks. The most important thing in support is for the person to understand that he is not alone and that they are ready to help him. Sincerely, Psychologist, family psychologist, Lyudmila Firsova