From the author: A good mom is never tired. If you believe this, close the page and don’t read the article. But if a note of doubt has crept into you, welcome. What do mothers most often complain about? Lack of time? Fatigue? Groundhog Day? Always teaching grandmother? Frequently ill children? Forgotten hobby? Quarreling children? And this is just the first thing that came to mind. What is usually advised in such cases? Rest. Find time and hobbies for yourself. Forget everyone and think about yourself. Be patient. The children will grow up and you won’t even notice. You need a good doctor. No, God forbid, only herbs and homeopathy. You can’t think only about yourself, the children need you. Which of these was advised to you? Or maybe you read the top recommendations “10 ways not to go crazy with children”? Most often, all recommendations for mothers can be divided into three categories: 1) the children need you, get up and go love. 2) children are not important in life, take care of yourself.3) this is temporary and will soon pass. My eldest daughter is almost 17 years old, these and other similar pieces of advice were given to me and my fellow mothers in the sandbox or on parenting forums. Almost all of them gave a temporary effect. Temporary relief, relaxation, removal of the burden of guilt and responsibility. No, all these tips are really good and effective. With one small nuance, which I want to talk about further. Few of the modern, well-read, smart, advanced and simply wonderful mothers know how to admit that they are tired. Admit that every new Groundhog Day is more and more difficult. That from running in circles sometimes you don’t understand what day of the week it is. That going to the supermarket without a child becomes a tour of a museum, and going out on a visit becomes a reception from the royal family. That sometimes you want to throw a plate at the wall and howl, loudly, like an animal. It would seem that what’s wrong with admitting: “I’m tired of doing the same thing every day, living in assembly line mode and completely subordinating my life to the children’s schedule. I want to be alone, in silence. I want to sleep, I always want to sleep. I want to buy clothes not for the sandbox, but for myself.” But who is stopping you from doing this, you say? Nobody. No one except my mother herself. I’ll share a story. One woman got sick. Having chosen the time, she went to the doctor. The doctor turned out to be competent and quickly referred her to a psychotherapist, to a neurosis clinic. The woman was diagnosed with clinical depression and given a referral to a hospital. “I can’t. I can't leave my family for two weeks. I am working. I can't leave her either. I have a child and a husband. And work. And the husband doesn’t know how to cook, and won’t be able to get his daughter ready for kindergarten. And my mother and husband say that all this is nonsense. Previously, several children were raised to their feet and nothing happened. And here …. Well, just think, some kind of depression, just a sad mood, it doesn’t happen to anyone.” This woman was able to talk about her fatigue, but could not accept medical help. And again, a small detail. You can't ask for help until you're exhausted. Until you breathe out. Until you lose it. I assume that the roots of this phenomenon stretch from our history. There were times when admitting to being tired meant admitting to death. But now there are different realities, different conditions. Another story. Taking care of yourself begins with preventing your well-being. And prevention is preventing total fatigue. It’s not for nothing that there is a saying - I’m dead tired. Ask for help not at the moment when you don’t raise your hands, but a little earlier. Accustom yourself to taking care of yourself. Accustom your household to this idea. And if, after reading this text, you still want to say : “Before there were no dishwashers and washing machines, and nothing, everyone was raised!”, then I have a request to you. Turn off the Internet, come and tell me this personally (before there were no cell phones either).