We all periodically face the need to provide support to loved ones. In this regard, I propose to look from the outside at what we say and whether these words are appropriate in difficult moments. - “Don’t cry,” “Calm down,” “Don’t worry.” More like an order not to express emotions; like the inability to bear other people's tears and unwillingness to support. - “Everything will work out,” “Everything will be ok.” How is this known? Who predicted? Such phrases often cause resistance and anger. - “It’s okay,” “Nobody died,” “Well, you found something to worry about.” Such phrases, instead of support, distance you even further from the one to whom they are spoken. There is no support in this, but there is devaluation. - “If you want, I will help,” “Don’t be shy, ask for what you need,” “Tell me if you need money.” 99.9% of the time, people who hear this will never ask for help. After all, they already asked for support when they opened up to you, but in response they received indifference. All of the above phrases have nothing to do with real support and care. Especially if your friend or loved one is experiencing a state of grief. How then to support? How can we be useful for a loved one? In my opinion, the best manifestation of support is as follows: - Listen without interrupting, without criticizing, without devaluing. Listen without being distracted by something external. - Give the person the opportunity to show his feelings, cry or get angry. Do not give empty advice and false promises. - Just be there. Hugging if possible and appropriate. Say that you are also very sorry. - Come and help with household chores; transfer money without words; buy food/medicine; help as much as possible without asking any preliminary questions. And finally, don’t think that you are expected to make a solution and get rid of suffering. Not at all. In difficult moments, we all have one thing in common - the desire not to feel alone in our situation. Perhaps such recommendations will seem too simple, as if there is nothing special in them. But, you must admit, advice and actions are not as important as the feeling that there is someone who shared our experiences, who was not afraid to be there, who listened and was not destroyed by it.