Clients contact me weekly on a variety of issues related to the topic of family divorce. One of the most frequently asked and troubling questions is where to start a divorce when the decision has been made final and the option of preserving the relationship is no longer considered. In this article I want to talk about how you can prepare for a divorce if you are the initiator. There are more successful divorces than successful marriages. We don’t know those we marry well, but we know perfectly well those we divorce (Evgeniy Panteleev) 7 important steps in preparing for a family divorce: Create a safe territory for yourself and your child/children in which you will live after the divorce. This could be the apartment in which you live now, or you will move to a rented living space, or to your parents, etc. The main condition is that you and your children should be safe there. If your ex-spouse comes and starts causing scandals, fights, or sorting things out, don’t be afraid to call the police and immediately stop such incidents. Voice your decision to divorce your spouse calmly, without accusations or feelings of guilt. If you’re afraid to tell your spouse about your decision “to his face,” write him a letter. There is nothing wrong with this - just a format for expressing your intention. It happens that a woman understands that as soon as she tells her husband about the decision to divorce, he can beat her if they are together at that moment. Enlist the support of loved ones and relatives who can support you during this difficult period. If there is no such support, contact a specialist (psychologist) who can support you on your path. Consult a lawyer if you have doubts and lack of information about the divorce process, division of property and the question of the place of residence of children after divorce. Very often, ex-husbands begin to intimidate their ex-wives by saying that they will take their child/children away from them. This is often the most common manipulation to cause fear in the spouse and force them to stop the divorce. Apply for alimony if the spouse refuses to help the child/children financially. In this case, the phrase: “I don’t need anything from him” is not working. Yes, you don’t need anything, but children need funds to live, even if you don’t need them now, you can always save them for a deposit. After all, life does not give guarantees. Be prepared for the fact that divorce often turns into a real massacre in which all means are used. Don’t be surprised if you learn a lot of “interesting” information about yourself in conversations with your ex-spouse, or from mutual friends. Many of my clients get upset when they hear all sorts of “news” about themselves, but I always teach them to resist such information. Prepare your children for divorce - a very important point. The most important rule during divorce is not to use them as a tool for revenge, venting powerlessness, anger or your sadness. I will write about how to prepare children for divorce in more detail in the next article. If you have read the list of reminders and in any way you have confusion, doubts, or lack of information, you can always take care of yourself and contact the author of the article for more information. a detailed analysis of your particular divorce situation. Together we will create for you an individual step-by-step plan - instructions for a more gentle process through the process of family divorce. Dear readers, what other item would you add to the preparation for a family divorce??