How tools become goals Let's talk today about how true desires, instead of their realization, are replaced by fashion trends that create the illusion of our development. You've probably noticed how many people have appeared visiting fitness clubs with an endless supply of bodybuilding, pole, yoga, Pilates, wrestling and other entertainment. There are so many adherents of spiritual practices, training in personal growth or how to get married, lovers of meditation. Attending fitness has become a measure of good form among white-collar workers who cloud their consciousness five days a week in noisy offices. They weigh themselves daily and count every 100 grams they lose or eat. If you managed to lose 2 kg very quickly, you allow yourself to swallow a piece of pizza. Are these people developing? It seems so. What if we take a closer look? Yes, they set certain goals: remove an extra 5 kg here, add something here... How does the hype around trending directions suck in those who do not have a unique path? Or how does psychology work where there is little awareness? We are not talking about external things now - not about beauty standards, catwalks that set a “skinny” rhythm, or fashionable books and trainings that chant: develop every piece of your body and, preferably, your brain!! We are talking about the deep stuff - about what happens to those who give themselves to all these trends, about addiction, about how tools become goals, never leading to happiness, noticeably depriving people of awareness. Behind all these permanent improvers is an ILLUSION CONTROL your life. Crowds of people who fall into this trap simply seek to control the simplest thing that can be somehow controlled. By achieving intermediate goals “at the hip line,” they relieve unnecessary tension. Mastering the next downhill skiing temporarily raises your endorphin levels. Another downward-facing dog in yoga gives hope. But such distractions do not carry with them the main thing - the basics. The illusion of control helps relieve anxiety and completely removes awareness of the crisis. Pictures of small incomes, a boring husband, a nagging wife or bondage with a mortgage after the next “headstand” really seem to fade and become less painful. Each of us has this type of acquaintance: he/she is not satisfied with work, there are scandals in the family, but vegetarianism and regular Pilates keep their psyche from breaking down for many years due to pseudo-background improvers. It is precisely the background, because these pseudo-developers have nothing to do with the real goals, the achievement of which truly makes such people happy and fulfilled. It’s all the same as coming to live in China and learning Norwegian. Is it bad to play sports and watch your figure, you ask? – Of course, this is wonderful. But if you take into account the “happiness index,” that is, the overall level of happiness with hundreds of changing parameters, then a lot becomes clear. If sports training becomes the main event of the day, and this same “happiness index”, with fitness (or diet) temporarily turned off, decreases significantly, then we are dealing with a well-built Illusion of control over one’s own life. And even cooler - the illusion of one’s own development. Why does this happen? The urge to treat yourself better is as strong as your daily thirst. But you can quench your thirst in different ways; if you do it with cola, you won’t be satisfied, but the illusion of pleasantness will remain. So why do so many people deceive themselves? Self-deception is based on fear of one's own individuality. It is as if we are afraid of our true selves. And this is not the notorious fear of failures, losses, fear of change, as coaches chant - this is the fear of ourselves, our true selves, where there is no doubt, where activity fills and you want to give more than you want to receive! Where there is immediately no need to replenish energy batteries, because they are charged automatically. But it’s always easier to join trends: these don’t eat meat, others control