At first glance, you can find that fidelity is non-doing. Lack of action. I am faithful when I do not cheat, do not hurt my partner, or provoke jealousy in him. But can an action that does not exist have value? Is there any point in boasting about something you don't do? Is it reasonable to demand payment for passivity? I propose to speculate on this topic. Have you ever thanked passers-by for not pushing you? And what about the yard punks because they don’t smoke and don’t litter in your entrance? It’s unlikely, because only the one who made some effort, who did not stand aside, but created a benefit that brought benefit not only to him alone, is worthy of praise. Right? It would never even occur to us to praise those around us for not robbing and killing. But we will gladly thank you if they help you lift the stroller and save you from the evil mongrel. We will say thank you if they return the phone that accidentally fell out. We value those actions that make our life a little better. If it doesn’t change, then we simply don’t notice them. There is a benefit - there is value. It's simple. If someone nearby starts something and it brings us pleasure, then his action has value for us. If this doesn’t affect us in any way, then let him do what he wants, it doesn’t concern us. And here the question arises: how to be faithful so that it is valued? How to turn fidelity into an act that gives pleasure to your partner? The interesting thing is that the act is only infidelity, betrayal. Those. in the context of fidelity, we can either cause the other to suffer or ensure that nothing changes. No wonder loyalty is not valued or noticed! By itself, it does not bring any benefits! No fun. Why are they so proud of her? Why do they demand something in return? Like, I’m not cheating on you, so let’s satisfy my desires and live it up. Otherwise I’ll go and change it. There is someone, you know. You see, I’m patient, I’m holding back with all my might so as not to go to someone else, that’s why you owe me. Sounds like blackmail, right? Do as I want, otherwise I will hurt you. And here we come to the most important thing. Loyalty can be an act in two cases. When it is blackmail and when it is an effort to restrain attraction to another person. With the first everything is clear, but with the second it is very curious. Loyalty is a daily struggle with one’s own desires. If I want to get paid for restraining my own desires, then it turns out that this is not my choice, not my decision. I'm being forced to do this. Moreover, I am not faithful from the beginning! I demand payment for pretending to be faithful! I don’t want to work without getting any benefit. Hmm, it turns out that fidelity becomes a value only when a partner wants to cheat, but doesn’t! Only in this case can it be “sold”. Exchange for attention, care, affection and service. When fidelity is a personal choice, your own decision, then it won’t even occur to you to demand something in return or boast about it. I am faithful because I myself decided to be with this person, and not because I am forced by morality, oaths, rules that came from nowhere, or fear of rejection. In this case, loyalty has value only for me! For a partner, this is simply a given. And the value for him will be those actions that bring him joy and pleasure. Loyalty is a daily choice to be with the same person. Gratitude can only be received for actions performed, and not for choice. We make choices for ourselves, actions for others..