Each of us appeared on Earth for a reason and each has his own purpose. And we came into this world to realize our inner potential. What is your potential? What abilities do you have? “Not at all!” or “I don’t even know my abilities” are the most common answers to such questions. And at the same time, every person deep down dreams of becoming someone. But how can you become that desired “someone” if you don’t guess about your abilities and don’t see them? That is why in our world there are so few people who realize their true abilities. Who is a self-actualized person? One who achieves the full use of his talent, his abilities and his potential. Well, well, if a person does not know his abilities, then in some way at that moment there is still a desire to get to know them. Find out who I am and why I am. For some, this desire is strong, for others it is weak, and for others, they don’t even think about it. And if this desire - to know himself and find his abilities - has appeared, such a person begins to know himself. Abraham Maslow: “Musicians must play music, artists must paint, poets must write poetry, if they ultimately want to be at peace with by ourselves. People should be who they can be. They must be true to their nature.” When a person takes this path of self-knowledge, he immediately faces two main obstacles: the need for security and the need for respect. It is these needs that do not allow us to move forward. A person can talk very long and cleverly about “growth”, but he will still remain in what he knew and was accustomed to. The first thing that needs to be done when a person embarks on the path of self-actualization is to find a sense of security in to yourself. “I have myself, and I will never betray or abandon myself.” And this should not just be words, it should become an internal state! “Everyone abandoned me!” “Where are you? Have you abandoned yourself too?” While a person has a strong need for security, he is not able to build something new. Safety is to keep all the weeds and try to grow a rose among them. And if you turn a blind eye to the weeds and don’t weed them, they will sooner or later choke this rose. Only the appearance of moving forward will remain - the field is completely strewn with weeds with dried sprouts of something new. Therefore, the courage to admit your “weeds” is an essential component of self-actualization. The second is to stop demanding respect from others, understand and admit that in essence you are already perfect. And actions - we do nothing to harm ourselves. If we commit some unseemly act at first glance, then we do it only because it brings us (our personality) satisfaction, otherwise we would not have done it. (This is another interesting topic and we will talk about it in detail another time.) The process of knowing yourself is always a willingness to take risks, make mistakes, and give up old habits. But this is not a fight against old habits and restrictions. This is a search for what prevents you from moving forward and the courage to do things differently than always. Only through courage can you open up to new ideas, new experiences that can lead to the top, or maybe to failure. But the knowledge that every lesson is for good will lead along the path of growth. And this is a personal path, not imposed by the environment - what is right and what is wrong. Moreover, the process of coming to yourself is slow and painful. It is a constant flow, not a fixed achievement. This is why so many people refuse it. It is always nice to achieve something and sit on your laurels without doing anything else. But no one can force a person to take the path of self-actualization. This is only a conscious choice - to become who you can be. The next action is composure and concentration. Access to effective perception of reality. And effective perception of reality is the ability to perceive the world impartially, to constantly be aware of what is actually happening inside and around a person.Determine at what point a person is, how he himself creates what surrounds him. Learn to see the surrounding reality as it is, with all its pros and cons, and not as one would like to see it. The most interesting thing is that such vision gives the ability to distinguish between falsehood and dishonesty. Hopes, expectations, anxieties and fears will no longer influence the perception of reality. Next - study your inner nature and act in accordance with it. Learn to decide for yourself what we like best. It's not what's right and what's wrong, but what you like and what you don't like, where you get real pleasure. Which films do you like best, which thoughts, ideas, regardless of the opinions of others. All this leads to the fact that a person does not lose a sense of the joy of life. He easily accepts other people and humanity as a whole, without trying to control, teach, remake others, or “customize” others to suit himself. A person becomes free and gives those around him freedom of choice and freedom of expression. Excessive feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety cease to burden you, hypercriticality of your shortcomings and weaknesses goes away. The next action is to learn to be honest with yourself. Take responsibility for your actions, actions and thoughts. And the main thing here is to stop looking for excuses and shifting the blame onto others for your actions, your thoughts, and stop striving to be good for everyone. You cannot please everyone in this world, because the task is not to become even more convenient for others, but to find yourself. The next thing is to learn to act in accordance with your judgments, sensibly assess your needs, figure out which ones are inherent to you, and which ones are induced by society, parents, surroundings. All this contributes to the most accurate decision - what is necessary and what is right specifically for a given person. Thanks to this, interaction with others is already built without the desire to produce an effect and amaze with something. “Show off” goes away and naturalness, simplicity and spontaneity appear. And this already leads to the ability to easily adapt to the surrounding reality, such a quality as tolerance appears. But with all this, if there is a need to be irreconcilable and, despite the threat of condemnation or rejection, one expresses one’s opinion without hesitation. The next step is to understand one’s potential capabilities. Find what brings you the most satisfaction, what you feel your talent is in and develop it to perfection. Maybe you are a good cook and, by developing your talent, you could become a chef whose skill is admired. Maybe you are great at organizing holidays, creating unique signature items... Find what you do best and do everything in your power to become a high-class specialist, as far as your abilities allow. But without using your talent, a person will do tedious and boring work, just because it pays well or it gives a state of security. The result is a dissatisfied state of consciousness. Maslow argued that the self-actualizing people he studied were not perfect and were not even free from major shortcomings, but they were all, without exception, committed to some task, duty, calling. They were not self-centered, but focused on problems beyond their immediate needs. We can say about them that they live to work, and do not work to live. The next step is to understand dependent and codependent relationships. The main need of socially “normal” people is to use other people to emphasize their importance and fill loneliness. All steps by self-actualization lead to a unique ability to be alone, without feeling lonely, to the ability to enjoy the wealth and fullness of friendship. The ability to remain calm and equanimous even in the face of personal misfortunes and failures appears. All this thanks to my own view of the situation without the need»