From the author: How we choose a partner, what determines the choice, and what prevents a relationship from starting. The basis for choosing a partner is his attractiveness. Pheromones, which are contained in sweat, are responsible for the emergence of sexual desire, skin, hair. Some may completely underestimate their odor attractiveness and at the same time focus only on physical, external data. Severe stress can suppress the release of these pheromones and, accordingly, reduce sexual attractiveness. Therefore, people experiencing stress often complain about a lack of personal life. The partner who makes more preening gestures more often becomes sexually attractive. The ability to attract attention and to be beautiful are not the same thing. Often men and women underestimate flirting and coquetry to attract the opposite sex. They proudly wait in the pose of the Statues; when they are noticed, they will approach. But physical attractiveness is clearly exaggerated by both sexes. No matter what standards of beauty are recognized in different eras, a person with any figure, appearance, etc. found a partner, a loved one. Attractive in appearance refers to hair, skin, body shape and proportions, height, etc. Individual preferences have always been varied among both men and women, and numerous surveys confirm this. Both men and women tend to exaggerate the attractiveness of the shape or size of certain parts of their body. At the same time, the assessments and opinions of the opposite sex on this matter coincide only partially. Thus, during the survey, women admitted that they liked the shape of their buttocks (39%), slimness (15%), flat stomach (13%), eyes (11%) and much more in men. For men, traditionally, priorities in their own beauty and attractiveness are set differently. Research (R. Lerner et al., 1976) found that the most important for assessing their attractiveness in young men are: height, physique, hips, shoulder width and mouth; for girls - face, waist, chest, mouth and teeth. Girls who express complaints about their appearance are not satisfied with their hair, weight, clothes and figure. The young men did not like their clothes, face, hair and weight. Physical attractiveness is an important factor in establishing contact and wanting to get to know each other. People usually approach someone whose attractiveness roughly matches their own. If in a couple one of the partners is less attractive in appearance, then he has advantages that compensate for the lack of external attractiveness. The partner must attract attention, be liked, and arouse sympathy. I saw, appreciated and chose. It's simple, you can start a relationship. But, some are able to delay the start of a relationship with another evaluative segment: they begin to evaluate themselves and add their own anxious expectations. It’s good if one’s own attractiveness is assessed positively and there are positive expectations that “I can” please you, there is such experience and you just need to wait for reciprocity. But , it happens that a person perceives his appearance very negatively, doesn’t like himself (or certain parts of his body) and makes an unfavorable forecast: “What if you don’t like me?” And that’s all! Complete or partial stop of activity. Here is the history of the issue. In this case, it turns out that the person no longer focuses on the object of sympathy, but on himself and his self-esteem. And later the thought takes shape: “I don’t have a relationship.” However, the attitude towards oneself and the perception of one’s own attractiveness may not coincide with the prospect of building a happy relationship with this partner. Maybe these two had a chance, but, alas, pheromones lost!