Today, due to recent events and self-isolation, we spend much more time with our loved ones in a relatively closed space. Therefore, I bring you a little life hack on how you can improve your relationships with your family - friends, relatives or loved ones. This method works well not only in cases of conflict, but also in everyday communication, when you want to understand the other person and be understood yourself. The concept I want to talk about is called “I-message”. This means that you express your current desires, dissatisfaction, pain, joy in sentences starting with "I" or "me". The way is, for example, during a conflict, to shift the emphasis from blaming the other person to your feelings, e.g. : Instead of “You annoy me,” you can say, “I feel angry and annoyed when you do that because...” What is the difference between these two forms? In the first case, you start with an attack, implying that the person is entirely responsible for your feelings - for your irritation, anger or pain. However, in the real world, your feelings can be caused by more than just another person's actions. They may also be caused by the fact that you are tired at work (remote or requiring presence), or you have a toothache, or you are irritated by sitting within four walls without entertainment. Or, to take it further, you remembered something unpleasant from your previous relationship and transferred it to your current partner. So, as a result of an attack on your part, your loved one is forced to defend himself, instead of trying to listen to you and/or calm you down. And vice versa, when you say: “I feel this and this, and this is also superimposed,” there is a greater chance that your partner, instead of reacting defensively, will try to understand you and take a step towards you. Outside of conflict, this can also happen applicable because "I messages" help your partner know how you feel and what you generally want - both from yourself and from him. Sometimes these are simple desires, for example, when you say: “I want to watch my favorite movie with you today, I really like it.” Sometimes this is associated with the recognition of fairly deep feelings and desires, for example: - I would like to spend more time with you because I am lonely/sad/bored; - I feel anxious and hurt when I see that you are sad and/or There’s something you’re not saying. - I’d like to spend time apart because I need to be alone with myself and gain strength. Confessing something can be awkward, uncomfortable and scary, but expressing your current feelings and desires helps strengthen the relationship and experience true intimacy with another person