From the author: I ask you to send your reviews and comments on this video to me by e-mail kluchnikov-s@ Share the link to this video with your friends and colleagues. I invite you to my author’s website Look at Youtube my video tips You can purchase my programs in the InfovitQuestion online store My whole life is a continuous knot of complex relationships. Both with the world and with yourself. Not even a node, but nodes. It all started with family. We are four children - me, an older brother, a younger brother and a younger sister. We got along more or less with her. And with the rest... The house was always a mess. The father left his mother four times, then returned. Now he’s back and doesn’t seem to be leaving. But there is constant yelling at home, it’s good that now I don’t see or hear it every day, although sometimes I have to go there.. My parents have always been yelling at each other, quarreling, for as long as I can remember. It was impossible to study, a small three-room apartment, everything was scattered and everyone was constantly barking at each other. I was the first to understand that if you stay here, you will drown in chaos and have nothing to count on in life. Already at the age of 19, while still studying at the institute, I rented an apartment and began to live on my own. I worked part-time, worked hard, studied poorly, but still received my management diploma. I tried to start a business with my brothers, but everything failed, although there were a lot of such attempts. The last time we tried, at first it worked, then we quarreled, and when we made up, it was already too late, the business collapsed. And then, when I tried to organize something in my life - business, family, building a summer house and much more, after all, I am an active person - everything fell apart! I couldn’t finish a single project that I started, I got married twice, got divorced, I pay alimony to both wives, the dacha remains unfinished. And although I still do business, and I won’t say that I’m a beggar, I spend everything I earn somewhere and have been marking time in one place for ten years. I still quarrel with my father and brothers when I meet them, although I don’t know why I do this. I tried to change myself and my life, read literature on psychology, Stephen Covey, Zeland, Dr. Kurpatov, and at one time went to different psychologists. At first this was enough for me, it was even interesting, but then he abandoned everything again. I recently watched your interview with Gordon on YouTube. I was interested in your method of the disenchanted circle. I still want to change my life and achieve success. Although when I ask myself whether I want to work hard all my life for this, I begin to doubt again. Or maybe all my problems are because I really don’t want to change and still live almost the same as before? I understand that you need to ask me questions, find out from me the details of my life, but still tell me, what do you think I’m lacking in your experienced opinion? How can I change the scenario of a loser who hasn’t really completed a single thing in his life? Nikolai, 36 years old, entrepreneur. ANSWER:You are right, Nikolai. To answer your question more fully, I need to ask you a lot of questions and know a lot more about you. Therefore, I will answer within the limits of what I know about you and what you say about yourself. My first conclusion is the following: in all likelihood, the chaotic and conflict model of your parents’ life was well learned by you. Your consciousness and subconscious mind firmly remember: - this is how you can and should live! Or maybe even the unconscious formula of this memorization was more radical - you can only live like this! And as an adult, you began to reproduce a similar view of the world. When we get used to living unsystematically, we begin to really deny any will and belief that changes in life are possible. If you look deeply into yourself, you will see that such disbelief in the reality of getting out of life’s impasse sits very deep inside you. The second point that can be clearly seen in you is your weak perseverance. It’s as if you’re saying to yourself: “I’ll try a little, most likely it won’t work and I’ll go back to the old way.” Your attempts to change yourself were too much.