From the author: How often do you promise yourself to start a new life: from Monday, from Tuesday? Now it’s possible from the New Year. Fortunately, he is already on his way. Why is it so difficult for many of us to pull ourselves together? Women are characterized by sensitivity to criticism and excessive trust in the opinions of others. This is a purely female feature, and often a problem. And this is where the legs of weak motivation grow. How often do you promise yourself to start a new life: on Monday, on Tuesday? Now it’s possible from the New Year. Fortunately, he is already on the way. Why is it so difficult for many of us to pull ourselves together? Women are characterized by sensitivity to criticism and excessive trust in the opinions of others. This is a purely female feature, and often a problem. And from here the legs of weak motivation grow. Often, incentives are similar to the sprout of an exotic flower, whimsical to external conditions: it wanted to bloom and please, but withered away without announcing the reason. There are several options for solving the problem: pull it out without waiting for a painful death or provide it (the motive) with appropriate care and get extraordinary results. And for this you don’t need much. Prepare the soil. Each type of plant has its own soil. And this is true, and any flower shop sales assistant will be happy to tell you about it. The motive and the person must also suit each other. For example, you really want something, but what exactly is not clear and plans to implement this something are not being formed. This may not be at all because of your indecision, but because of the abstractness of the desire or because the desire is not yours at all. Therefore, first we check the desire for truth. Try to imagine that what you dream about happened. What changes have happened in your life? What have you gained and what have you lost? If at some point in this internal dialogue you feel anxiety, this is a controversial point. After all, our subconscious calculates everything much faster than ourselves. You may know absolutely nothing about what awaits you, but the insinuating voice of intuition is trying to tell you about upcoming problems and difficulties. The main thing is to hear it, or rather, allow yourself to hear it, and not rush ahead to where you shouldn’t go at all. For example, we decided to get a second higher education. But some kind of leapfrog happens: the documents are not collected, something is always lost on the way to the institute and you have to return halfway. It’s time to think: maybe it’s not going there? Take care and water. Don’t make excuses even to yourself and don’t regret your decision. Phrases like: “I will be busy most of the day,” “It will be difficult for me financially,” “How will my loved ones accept this” are not your phrases. They create bad conditions for your motive to grow. They are like drafts, which exotic plants do not like so much. The motive for him to grow up big and healthy must be nurtured and cherished. Look for and constantly voice to yourself more and more new advantages of the change for which you are preparing. All your transformations should occur under the “+” sign. Protect from pests This is especially important at the very beginning, when your motive is very weak and vulnerable. Perhaps we should hide for now and not show it to those around us. So that you don’t accidentally ruin it with a word. Exclamations: “What did you do?”, “Have you thought about the consequences?” are not needed. These are pest phrases. Decide and move forward without focusing on anyone. The opinions of others may be valuable (they also have experience in nurturing), but not for you. You should have a purely your own, individual and accumulated experience. Moreover, the motives of the people warning and “protecting” you may not be good at all. And this will not benefit your fledgling motive. The “I Know It Myself” product works best on pests. Let the well-wishers around you see your reluctance to engage in dialogue. Yes, you realize that you can make mistakes, but you will still do it your way. This is your firm position in life.Set realistic deadlines Remember the words from the movie “Low Season”: even if you gather nine pregnant women, the child will still not be born in a month? A sprout will not grow into a full-fledged flower in one day. It’s the same with cherished dreams, their time will come in a timely manner. Give your desire the opportunity to take shape and mature. To avoid the burden of waiting, plant something else. For example, primroses: cheerful, beautiful, grow quickly, but wither, too. Parallel activities will not interfere with your dream. On the contrary, they add strength and energy to implement it. Applying fertilizersIt won't be that easy. You will need patience and a good positive attitude. It will not happen without minor failures, troubles, and conflicts. They not only weaken your nervous system, but also have a bad effect on your motive. Thoughts appear: I should give it all up and forget. Do exactly this, but for a few days! And then find good examples of people from your inner circle or among celebrities who really wanted to and did it! Test: Where do your dreams take you? In what direction should you put your energy in order to achieve success? Where should you focus your efforts so that your dreams don’t burst like soap bubbles? Want to find out? Choose one of the four options on the right and then read what it means. Imagine that you are blowing bubbles and ... Option No. 1 - multi-colored, iridescent, they rise to the very sky. Option No. 2 - many small soap bubbles quickly fly forward in an even stream Option No. 3 - you try to blow the biggest, most unusual bubble. Option No. 4 - you blow over and over again, but the wind constantly blows your soap bubbles back. Option number 1. Your dreams are beautiful, but very far from reality. You do not show any activity in their implementation. Perhaps you just have a rich imagination? Then you should write down your fantasies. This is what Astrid Lindgren did and became a famous children's writer. But maybe you are so unsure of yourself that you don’t even think about changes in life, and therefore you plunge into daydreams? Make dreams plans! Figure out what you really want. Now imagine that your best friend shared these intentions with you and you must advise her on what to do. This way you will get rid of the pressure of your inner voice, which every now and then whispers: “Nothing will work out anyway, it’s better to just dream!” Option number 2. You know exactly what you want for your family, for yourself. You are active in this direction, and exactly as much as necessary. On the one hand, this position gives a feeling of calm and stability. You live happily here and now, focusing on the little things in everyday life and work. On the other hand, you may not learn much. For example, what talents do you have, that you could be happier, and in some places the grass is truly greener. Try to direct your energy to something new, expand your areas of activity. You will immediately feel the quality of your life change for the better. Option number 3. Your dream is big and beautiful. You understand that it will not be easy for you (just like blowing up a huge soap bubble), you know that circumstances may interfere with your plans (the larger the bubble, the higher the likelihood that it will burst), but you still try your best. It deserves respect. But you can completely exhaust yourself! If you are tirelessly active, but the goal is not getting closer, look around: are there any goals nearby that are equally tempting, but more accessible? Option No. 4. You had a bad experience: something ruined your plans - and now you are active according to the principle “necessary, but sufficient.” Do you think this is discretion? Actually acquired helplessness. A person with such obvious symptoms does not want to do anything, does not dream of anything, and this harms not only his personal life, career, but also health. Imagine yourself as a child. What would you do if the wind blew your bubbles away? Would you stop doing this? Hardly. Rather, they would find a windless place or!