The final step of the apology is the key to solidifying all your thoughtful work to rebuild the trust that has been lost. Allow the other person to remain upset after hearing your apology. This is a difficult step. Why? Because by this point you have sincerely apologized. Not only that, but you also: thoughtfully considered what it was that hurt the other person listened sympathetically and expressed your feelings indicated how you would change your behavior in the future to avoid similar misunderstandings suggested ways to resolve the underlying problem were warm, open, disarming, honest and vulnerable .You are so aware that you are already bordering on the status of a guru. Now that the hard work is done, you expect outstretched arms and a big, warm hug. It just may not happen. Sometimes it takes a while to accept an apology. Expecting an immediate positive reaction from another person is manipulation. Expecting the other person to automatically accept your apology is something you should never do when apologizing. If you don't get an immediate positive reaction (which is normal when there have been big problems), it makes you feel like you have failed and that there is nothing you can do to fix it. "Apologizers" have a natural reaction when they don't get that big, warm, fuzzy hug. The response goes something like, "Forget it" or the popular "That was stupid," followed by an impulse to give up trying to achieve forgiveness. Don't let feeling of defeat take over you just because someone did not immediately accept your apology. Give your apology a chance to digest. Great apologies are often followed by not-so-great responses, and while that's not ideal, it's normal. Say something like, “I don't expect you to immediately feel better when I say something nice, but it's important to me that you hear it. I understand that all this will take time.” Prepare for... nothing. There may be a lot of anger, or a lot of tears, or a lot of pain... Accepting an apology is usually a process, not an event. Allowing this process to unfold is another way to demonstrate your sincere regret, either in your behavior, in the way your behavior made the other person feel, or both. In conclusion, remember that everything that is said is at a certain point. moment, that's enough. If you have sincerely apologized (and pride yourself on the thoughtfulness, level of care, and vulnerability in your apology) and the other person continues to rehash the past in a punitive and closed-off way, your patience may begin to take on a level of emotional masochism that you do not deserve. You may need to seek the help of a psychologist to decide what to do next. I work with feuding family members who want to restore relationships. Additionally, you may consider finding a therapist via Skype if you live in another city. Good luck! https://smirrnova.ru