How to identify a LIE? According to a study by Cornell University, people lie about 25% of the time in their everyday interactions. How do you know if someone is lying to you? Some people find it very difficult to lie, and they immediately give themselves away with their eyes, gestures, emotions, while others lie and do not blush. Therefore, we all need to know the basic signs by which we can recognize when a person is not telling the truth. By the way, this is a skill of emotional intelligence - it can be developed1. The Look When deceiving, the first thing that gives a person away is his eyes. Liars, as a rule, avoid making eye contact, but if a person is deliberately deceiving, he may deliberately look confidently into your eyes.2. Changing the topicAlways monitor the flow of the conversation; if a person gently, persistently and periodically changes the topic, this is a sure sign that he has something to hide.3. Exaggerated emotionsIn the first moment after asking a question, the interlocutor’s face shows his real feelings. Liars often use a technique - exaggeration of emotions, they demonstrate ostentatious naivety, anger, irritation or, conversely, resentment, disappointment. And, if a person with a stern face tells you that he is so happy for your victory or so glad to see you, and then belatedly smiles, you have to wonder if this person is really happy to see you. Liars hide, suppress and fake their emotions, trying to make their face take on an expression that suits the occasion and the nature of the conversation. The speed of speech or gestures may slow down, this means that the person thought for a second to come up with an answer similar to the truth.4. Gestures There is a whole list of non-verbal signals that indicate deception. Signs of deception - a person rubs his nose, covers his mouth, holds his neck, covers his ear, speaks through his teeth, rubs his lower face, puts his hands behind his back or in his pockets. Repeated repetition indicates deception.5. External signs A person may experience other external signs that indicate deception. A person may change his face, blush, turn pale, begin to stutter, cough, laugh nervously, and may sweat. A person may fidget in a chair, alternately cross or, conversely, straighten his legs, cross his arms on his chest, and rub them.5. Inconsistencies and contradictions One of the ways to determine a lie is to find logical errors in the liar’s speech, a violation of the sequence of presentation, an abundance of unnecessary details, he will feel uncomfortable when pauses occur, he will try to fill silent pauses with unnecessary information. The liar will use the words of the interlocutor to make an answer very similar to the question, will joke and use sarcasm6. Changing voiceAccording to researchers, the deceiver changes the tone of his voice and the pace of conversation, begins to speak too quickly or too slowly.7. Position during communication To hide a lie, the opponent often chooses a defensive position; he can be aggressive and blame the interlocutor during the conversation. May turn away or take an indifferent pose (lean on the table, lounge in a chair, etc.), will try to place any objects between himself and the interlocutor, twist objects.. Ocular access keys (visual keys) “liar's eyes” For the first time the term “keys” ocular access" was discussed in the book "Frog to Prince: NLP" by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Here's what the authors found in their experiments. When answering questions, a typical right-handed person looks (from your point of view): Looking straight ahead, as well as an unfocused gaze, means recalling an image. Looking up to the left means: Visually constructing an image If you ask someone imagine a purple bull, the person will look up and to the left because he will construct a purple bull in his brain. Up Right Represents: Visual Memory of an Image If you ask someone, “What color was the wallpaper in your room as a child?”, they will also remember the eyes will start to move up andright. Left Indicates: Sound Construction If you ask someone to reproduce in their head the highest sound that an alien can make, they will begin to construct in their head a sound that they have never heard. Right Indicates: Sound Recall If you ask someone to remember what their voice sounds like mother, he will look to the right. Down Left Represents: Sensation / Kinesthetics If you ask someone “Can you remember the smell of a fire?”, he will look down and to the left. Down Right Represents: Internal dialogue This is the direction of the eyes while someone is “talking” with you." EXAMPLE: Let's imagine that a child asks you for cookies, and you ask him, “Okay, did your mom let you?” The child answers “Mom allowed...yes” and looks to the left. This means that the answer is made up because the eyes show "the construction of an image or sound." Looking to the right will mean remembering a voice or image, which, accordingly, will indicate the truthfulness of the answer. But let's look at the quality of contact between people more broadly, through the prism of studying information received verbally and non-verbally. So, in order to find out the true motives, as well as truthfulness, it is important to study the contact in many ways, for example: Eye contact, posture, gestures, verbal contact - voice, intonation -Construction of phrases, content of speech For a full-fledged study, we introduce the following important vectors: -The sign of the relationship or its “valence”, direction - negative or positive, both towards oneself and to the partner -The degree of affiliation (attraction, love) - repulsion, hatred ;-Communication style and distribution of roles, dominance/submission, acceptance and giving-Attitude intensity is a quantitative parameter that shows the strength of the attitude. - inclusion - “absence” - Degree of awareness - Differentiation of relationships, i.e. “abundance of shades” or diversity of relationships. - Degree of reciprocity of relationships - Degree of depth of relationships - Degree of stability of relationships - Degree of activity of relationships - Degree of certainty of relationships - Degree of typicality, stereotyping relationships - The degree of ethicality of the relationship - The degree of correspondence of the external expression of the relationship to its internal content - The degree of emotionality of the relationship, distance, intimacy - The degree of self-control in the relationship, the degree of self-restraint in the relationship, the degree of self-actualization in the relationship) Sometimes people prefer to express the nature of their relationships in non-verbal form, in while verbal behavior (controlled, evaluated) may not correspond to them. For example, he pretended that he did not notice, did not say hello, did not say goodbye... At the same time, the partner records and interprets accordingly, but cannot always respond directly (verbally) to the message . People's true relationships are revealed precisely in their expressive behavior. This fact is explained by the fact that expression is difficult to control and comprehend, and therefore it directly conveys various movements of the human soul. Nonverbal interactions are considered as the “language” of the subconscious. States at the moment of their experience (before and after direct communication) are poorly amenable to awareness in the moment and verbalization. It is in this regard that there is a need to develop the individual as a subject of nonverbal communication, to create programs that update the expressive repertoire. Our first experience of communication appears in infancy - the so-called revitalization effect, when the baby reacts to the mother and her facial expressions. Eye contact indicates the types of relationships: 1. “Distance”, inclusion and exclusion; the positive pole is “inclusion” (relationships of affection, interest, acceptance). It corresponds to frequent, intense visual contact, subject to rules in accordance with the role of the communicator and the recipient. The negative pole is “switched off” (detached, autonomous, alienated relationships). It corresponds to infrequent, mild or completely absent eye contact. 2..