Neglect is a specific way of relating to another person that is detrimental to both him and the relationship itself as a whole. At the same time, unfortunately, it often occurs. Of course, people do not talk about this to each other directly, with the words “I treat you with disdain.” Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize neglect because this negative attitude is expressed more indirectly than directly. In addition, neglect can be difficult to notice in the early stages of a relationship, when, in most cases, people are interested and emotionally involved in each other. How to recognize neglect? The experience of neglect consists of three main messages that the neglectful partner sends. They, of course, are very rarely voiced directly; rather, they consist of many small situations: I don’t care (I don’t care what happens to you, I may not notice it at all) I don’t want to invest anything in the relationship You (and your needs, requests, comments, etc.) are only an inconvenience for me. What do these three messages consist of? A neglecting partner is not interested in your individuality, in its various aspects: life experiences, important circumstances, temperament, goals and dreams, etc. All that what makes a person special. And, no less important, such a partner not only does not know all this, but also does not want to find out. He does not care. A neglectful partner tends to downplay, criticize, or ignore requests, appeals to agreements, and promises made to him. Keeping agreements and fulfilling requests requires effort and investment, so the neglectful partner is looking for ways to get rid of it (“it’s not that important,” “I already do a lot for you,” “we didn’t agree on anything,” “you’re always something... that’s what you demand from me,” etc.). A neglectful partner tends to care only about himself, even when it comes to his relationship with his own child. For example, he will not cancel or reschedule his affairs for the sake of another person (even if this business is simple entertainment), he may be late for important events for another partner or simply “forget” about them, he may forget to do or buy something, about than he was asked to do, even after repeated reminders, and will not perform everyday household care on his own initiative. After all, this is also burdensome and requires effort. It is very difficult to share joys, successes or anything that brings pleasure with a neglectful partner, especially if these things are not on the initial list of his interests. Such a person may not even find out over a fairly long period of communication what really interests and pleases his partner. The partner’s joy is devalued (“so now, I have to drop all my business and run to be happy because something happened to you”). A neglectful partner may very rarely say compliments or nice things and especially rarely show support or say words of encouragement , emotionally accompany your partner in difficult situations. At such moments, the neglecting individual is likely to switch off, and perceives the partner’s requests for support with irritation. How to resist neglect? Refuse to justify and explain your partner’s behavior to yourself. A very common variation of this is, for example, the thought that your partner does not support you because he does not understand or know enough, so you can endlessly hope that someday in the future he will understand you. Unfortunately, a neglectful partner does not understand you only because he does not want to understand and learn, and does not want to waste his resources on this. This may be difficult and painful to experience in the moment, but it will free you from unrealistic expectations and save you a lot of energy later. Remember your self-esteem. No person deserves to be neglected. Think about what makes you unique: your goals, dreams, values, emotions, life experiences, something you are good at, something you are trying to learn. All this is worthy of attention and