Labyrinths of close relationships There is hardly a person in the modern world who was not familiar with the concept of “intimacy”; we all grow out of relationships, if we are lucky - good, if less - bad. The need for intimacy is basic human need. And, probably, the way a person treats intimacy is how he builds his life. Unfortunately, there are not many people for whom intimacy is associated only with joy and happiness. There are significantly more of those who, when approaching a partner, unconsciously plunge into the world of childhood traumas and experiences, where the child with a huge need for warmth and acceptance is small and dependent, and the parents are large and often cold. Now, with any rapprochement, a person will feel joy and anxiety, fear at the same time. And all these feelings will increase with approximately the same intensity with each round of frankness. A person who has experienced the experience of suppression (in one scenario) in a new relationship will establish a greater distance from his partner. He will be very attentive and sensitive to anything that might signal a violation of his boundaries. Or they won’t decide to get closer at all. This is a counter-dependency reaction. In another scenario, an adult is under the illusion that his partner will give him what his parents did not give him. And since knowledge about one’s identity (who am I?) is fragmentary, therefore it is the partner who is endowed with special meaning, now he must be responsible for the condition, comfort and safety of the “close” person. Feelings of anger, irritation, dissatisfaction are taboo. Any situation that threatens the merger is experienced very painfully by both partners. The other, once, as a child, was stuck between the desire for independence and the search for support from his mother (or another significant person). He rushes between two poles: he takes a step towards the other, and, frightened by this, pushes him away or runs back. And once she is safe, she experiences anxiety about her loneliness. And again, feeling the need for support, he goes out to repeat the scenario again. The third one once decided for himself that you can only get support and warmth by deserving it (for a reason!). From that moment on, his life is reshaped according to someone else's pattern. He will choose a path where he will make a lot of effort at every meter in order to be needed, important, indispensable. And he will be very sensitive to even the slightest sign of waning attention, so as to be offended, but do even more. This is also a fork of contradictions, where the same person controls, supports, is hyperfunctional and, at the same time, depends on, needs support. How many of these scenarios are there that most of us live by? There are as many of them as there are people themselves. The scenarios are very individual and only similar in general characteristics, since each of us goes through a unique path of development and which thread ends up in the fabric of our existence depends only on us. We all need the same things (warmth, affection, support, participation , pity sometimes), but for “this one” everyone defines completely different meanings. Unfortunately, it so often happens that in the labyrinths of relationships, we give up a lot, get disappointed in something, and lose something. Subsequent relationships are significantly impoverished in feelings, and are filled with experiences of previous relationships and traumas..