If it seems to you that you are being controlled, it doesn’t seem to you... Most likely, a person with controlling behavior does not realize that he is causing discomfort to others. After all, for him, imposing his will is a natural manifestation of his own unrecognized codependency. Family psychotherapist and addiction psychologist Valentina Moskalenko often says that controlling behavior is almost a national disaster of the country. It’s hard to disagree with this after taking a close look at ordinary families. Widespread “surveillance” of wives/mothers/daughters on their husbands /sons/fathers with addictions. Eternal “salvation” of relatives and friends of drug addicts, alcoholics, “revelers”, gamblers. In families without manifested chemical or gambling addiction, there is emotional dependence and codependency. Constant monitoring of who went where, what time they arrived, what they are doing , eats, buys - this is living someone else's life of children, partners, parents... And all this control is one of the main signs of codependent behavior. Emotional codependency and controlling behavior in the above families is quite difficult to recognize, because visually everything looks more than decent. Growing or matured children begin to experience especially acute discomfort. Since their parents desperately continue to dominate and “do” good in the form of unsolicited advice and imposing their own opinions. In such situations, the psychological community advises those who find themselves under the influence of codependent control to pay attention to their inner sensations, feelings. If you are aware of discomfort and encroachment on your borders, territory, life, then this is not help. But nothing more than a parental solution to your own internal problem (low self-esteem, anxiety, syndrome of a grown-up child of an alcoholic or a dysfunctional family, etc. .).That is, control, as a trait of codependency, is not a negative characteristic of a person, but his given nature, a feature. Once, this particular model of behavior was chosen by him in order to... survive. And the person continues to use control as an illusory way safe life. And again the phrase about drowning people and their role in their own salvation is relevant. No one except the person himself can change himself and his path. Since only the person himself is responsible for the priceless gift - his own life. Take care of yourself! If you want, you can change almost everything .——————————Consultations for addicts and their loved ones (codependents) Online groups for working with codependent and dependent relationships.+7 918 089 44 71——————————