From the author: This is important to know! Secret 4 Controlled participation While working in individual sessions, my clients gradually learned to track their personal contribution to painful relationships. For example, one a woman once shared her insights that when she is in a bad mood and even “trying not to show it,” her husband avoids her or says: “Let’s be silent now.” Another finally realized that when she relaxed her “maternal” control over her husband and began to treat him as an adult and equal person, he became more open. Meanwhile, earlier he fled from this relationship, tried to be at home as little as possible, citing being busy with work. Everything influences everything. Modern physicists, a few years after the Gestaltists (it is this humanistic approach that I use in individual work), encountered some themes close to the ancient Chinese. Namely, that in nature there are no material phenomena that exist independently of the view and thoughts of a person. As a result, physicists were forced to recognize the responsible status of a participant for the observer. In the theory of quantum physics, an observer of the physical properties of any atomic phenomenon is also needed in order to “bring these properties to life” (from “Times of Change” by F. Capra). It is also important to know that the culture and intelligence of the observer also influence the observed system. Therefore, develop yourself! Increase your self-esteem. This will make you more interesting and attractive to your man. Develop your right “poetic” hemisphere, which is responsible for images and feelings. Sing, draw, crochet or knit, dance, write poetry, play musical instruments, in a word - create! Remember, just one DESIRE is enough to breathe life into the whole world.