You are reading an article from a series of abstract articles. In my opinion, there are a number of books that are effective for self-help. They are generally understandable to a reader who is far from psychology. And yet, to start reading them, you need to make up your mind. Making a conscious choice not to read is also quite an option. But how to choose without opening the book? I decided that in this case it would be useful to get acquainted with the summary and main ideas of the book. And then everyone will decide for themselves. (My opinion or reasoning is indicated in parentheses with reference to E.Yu.) What are we reading today? Janet J. Voititz Adult children of alcoholics: Family Work Relationships. Start in the articles: Adult children of alcoholics 1-23Chapter 5 Healing Tips for Adult Children of Alcoholics. You are an adult child of alcoholics and you need psychotherapeutic help for healing. What should you pay attention to when looking for a specialist? (if YOU are an ACA) The therapist must be able to work with addicts. The therapist must know what a self-help program is and be able to work with a person who is undergoing such a program in parallel with psychotherapy. The therapist must have knowledge of what it means to be a child growing up in a dysfunctional family, but should not have such experience himself. (or undergo personal therapy regarding these circumstances - E.Yu.) The psychotherapist must have a diploma in specialized education. The psychotherapist must be sincerely interested in your problems. The psychotherapist must support your self-disclosure, but not open up. The psychotherapist must be friendly, but should not become friend. Perhaps after one or two sessions with a psychotherapist you will want to change specialist. You have the right to do this. If you change several specialists, but none of them are suitable for you, most likely you are not ready for psychotherapy. What you need to be careful with During the healing process, you may be in great emotional pain. You may feel like you are not living your life. In your case, this is normal. If you want to save another person, think about whether you are ready to be with him throughout the entire process of his healing, and also give him the right not to change. If “no,” wait until the person turns to you. If you are not in a close relationship, do not create one until you understand yourself. If you are in a relationship, keep your partner informed of everything that happens to you. Over time, you will want to change something in them - it is better to keep your partner informed. If you were an inattentive parent and realized this - do not rush to be perfect - a sharp change in your behavior is not useful for children. Reading books will help you realize a lot. Remember that reading books is therapy. Reading is not enough for long-term change. Remember that healing is a slow and difficult process. This article ends the First Part of the book: In the Family: Adult Children of Alcoholics. In the next article we read the Second Part: In Intimacy. If all this is familiar to you and you can’t handle it on your own, call 8-921-919-85-59, I work in person and online